Love Story
by Rhea1305
Summary: In someways I'm stupid-I let myself fall in love far too easily and then all there is to do is run. But wherever I seem to run, everything eventually catches up; I thought a life in Starfleet might give me a chance...Kirk/OC Rewritten in Past Tense
1. Uniforms

**A/N: **The following chapters have been updated from the original. I have tried my best to make sure that there were no errors after I'd updated, however, if there are any, if you could politely point them out i'd appreciate it. Also, i have very little to say about the updates, apart from the tense, nothing has changed. If this is your first time reading, enjoy and tell me what you think in a review. Rhea

**Disclaimer:** I know this, you know this, but the lawyers have to be told, appartantly. I don't own it. Paramount does.

**Chapter 1: Uniforms**

Finally graduated, finally finished with the Academy. I was actually really excited about it; the future, not being held back by the past. Not having to worry if people were going to find out anything or watching what I said, because it wouldn't matter- I'd be out in space, back where I belonged, if I'm honest.

The atmosphere in Lecture Theatre One was electric. Everyone wanted to know where they'd been assigned. As the names were read out there were little whispers of, "Yes," when someone got the placement they'd been waiting for and small groans when someone found out they were not where they wanted to be. I was rather optimistic, most of those people groaning had applied to be on the Enterprise, yet in my asking criteria, I never mentioned it**, **knowing I'd get a good placement on another ship. However, as Commander Reed read out the assignments for those with surnames H-K, I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this wasn't going to be good:

"Karev, the Enterprise." My heart dropped in my chest- the one place I didn't want to be. I couldn't do it, I was determined that there was a way around it.

After everyone was dismissed I walked over to Commander Reed in the vain hope that my placement could be changed, "Sir?"

He looked up from the P.A.D.D in his hands as I walked over and asked, "Yes Lieutenant?"

"Sir, I never mentioned the Enterprise in my criteria, but you and the rest of Starfleet have completely ignored this." I stated, getting straight to the point.

"Karev those criteria were only put there as _guidelines_. You're needed on the Enterprise, they only have one doctor on board for the whole crew and you're the best doctor in this graduating class." He replied, looking back at the P.A.D.D in his hands.

"Sir, is there nothing I can do to get moved?" I whined, practically begging to go somewhere else.

"No Karev, there isn't. The Enterprise is our flag ship, our best ship. It needs our best staff and as I said you're the best doctor we have to offer since…" He trailed off leaving the Narada incident unmentioned.

I sighed quietly knowing there really was no way to fight the system on this one. I was just going to have to grit my teeth and bear it.

"Okay, thank you for your time Commander." I whispered

"Don't worry about it Lieutenant." He answered, leaving me alone in the empty lecture theatre.

I sighed and sat down on one of the seats. All the other students were fighting over being on the Enterprise, working with the crew famous for saving the world, but I didn't want that. I never wanted that. I wanted nothing more than to be as far away from that ship as I possibly could…and now, I had to work there.

I didn't want to be there for a plethora of reasons. They're all geniuses and I figured I'd get left behind, and that was just reason one.

I pulled my long dark hair out of its ponytail, so that it fell around my face. Placing my head in my hands, I asked the empty room, "Why does this always happen to me?"

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I stared from the uniform in my hands to the idiot who'd given it to me. He could not and was not being serious as far as I was concerned. Fuck Starfleet's new regulations, not even under pain of death am I wearing a dress that short. Everyone else has to but that's not the point.

"Erm... haven't you got any trousers?" I asked the rather beefy looking quartermaster, with a hopeful look in my eyes.

"Not for women." He grunted back and I rolled my eyes.

It was just my luck. As if working on the Enterprise wasn't bad enough, I'd then got to try and work in something that barely resembled a belt.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It's my own fault I suppose. Starfleet offered me a way back into space. It was an opportunity I'd been waiting for and I was now suffering the consequences of their ridiculous uniforms. I'm a fully qualified doctor, but my file's always had a lot of gaps in it and no one wants you when it's like that.

I didn't really have that much schooling early on; I spent most of my life, after the age of eleven off-world. When I started in planning to go into Starfleet I was only nineteen but the kids in my class were a lot further ahead than me. I had a lot of catching up to do and with the help of a tutor I managed to catch up in a year due to a combination of my natural ability to pick up anything practical and anything to do with numbers and many nights sat working instead of drinking with my friends.

I mean it wasn't like I didn't know anything- I just missed being schooled from 11-17 and all right, I learned a lot of things living around like I did, but it was a real pain in the arse. I don't really talk about it that much; I just used to sit a corner on my own and work. I had to; I didn't want to be left behind even more.

I joined Starfleet when I was nineteen and a half because I had to do something with my life and I had few other options. I started my basic Starfleet training when I was twenty, since the applications, aptitude tests, interviews and physical fitness tests take about six months. They asked me what field I wanted to specialise in. This was such an opportunity for me- I could follow whatever I wanted; so I became a doctor.

I was in the academy for about eight years in all. I mean I was always a little behind most of my class because most of them had some prior medical training and if I'm honest the medical department at Starfleet had reservations about taking me on. Yet, I had some basic knowledge and in some places it put me ahead of the others, particularly in trauma- where I could keep a cool head. There were very worried that I would get left behind but I really wanted this. That's why it's taken so long for me to fully graduate- eight years rather than the average 3-5 that it usually takes.

Although, despite how hard I worked I was a total bitch to teach. I used to argue with my instructors a lot; mostly my self-defence instructor because I can look after myself a lot better than he could ever have taught me to. I had the best teachers; Mercs, murderers, convicts and experience. Mind you, I argued with my flight instructor, my tactics instructor…

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I've always been resilient, belligerent or as Riddick always put it: "fucking stubborn," which is why I find myself, yet again, walking down the familiar corridor that leads to Admiral Jonathan Archer's office. With the amount of times I'd been there because I've been in trouble, I knew my way up and down that corridor like no other.

I walked into the waiting-room where his secretary Annie smiles at me: "I thought you'd finished at the academy and were off into space. We thought we'd never see you in here again, Lieutenant Karev."

"Well, you know me Annie, I can't help it: this place is like a giant magnet to me…is the Admiral with somebody?" I asked, searching for any signs of other members of Starfleet's top brass.

"No, no. Only D'Artagnan." She replied with a smile.

I relaxed slightly and sent her a sad look: "Still no sign of Porthos?"

"No nothing. You know the bloke who made him disappear is working as the Chief Engineer on the Enterprise." She said, raising her eyebrow slightly.

I laughed, "I'll see if I can get an answer out of him."

I looked over to Admiral's door, "Can I go in and see him?"

"I'll ask him, wait a moment." She called through to his office and spoke to his picture on the monitor on her desk, "Lieutenant Karev wants to speak to you sir, can I send her in?"

A voice came from the monitor, with a certain amused tone to it, "Certainly, send her in."

There was a small beep from the monitor as the link closed and Annie looked up at me nodding towards the door. I smiled and walked into Admiral Archer's office, feeling rather pleased that I was not about to be yelled at for misconduct, insubordination or just being plain me.

The Admiral was sitting behind his desk with D'Artagnan, his second prized Beagle, on his knee. He looked the same as he always did, exactly like the pictures in the text books about him, except, the sparkle in his eyes isn't there anymore and his hair is greying. Our Weapons Instructor Commander Reed once told me that the sparkle left his eyes when Commander Tucker was killed. I wasn't surprised really.

I stand to attention, but only for a few seconds as he says: "At ease Lieutenant." I relax a little "What is it you're here for?"

"It's about my uniform, sir."

"What about it Lieutenant?" he said leaning forward

"Well sir, the dress is a little short sir, I mean most women wouldn't mind them sir and it's not that_ I_ do but the thing is sir-"

"Jack, would you please stop saying sir so much and get to the point."

I relaxed completely and said, "The scar on the back of my left leg isn't covered very well by tights so what I'm trying to ask is would it be possible for me to wear black skinny trousers underneath the dress?"

He surveyed me up and down for a moment and scratched D'Artagnan behind the ears, "I don't see why not, as long as it doesn't look that different to the other uniforms. So make sure they're black and that your boots will fit over the top of them."

I smiled and almost sighed with relief, "Thank you,"

I paused for a moment before continuing, "You called me Jack,"

"Well it is your name…"

I laughed, "You know what I mean."

"Mmmh, I do. However, since it wasn't in public, I don't really see a problem." He got up from behind his desk and walked around placing his hands on my arms, "Your mother would be proud of you Jack, I know she would…"

"I somehow doubt that, if I'm honest…" I stared at the floor, feeling like shit in the knowledge that he said that…because he felt guilty.

"Jack, she would be... I know I am."

I smiled and got reluctantly pulled into a hug. After he released me I grinned slightly and growled, "If you ever do that again, I will personally kill you"

He laughed and sat back down behind his desk. I smiled and replied "I'll see you around Jon, so don't keep tabs on me while I'm on the Enterprise...I'll be fine and I won't cause trouble."

"I'm not worried about you causing trouble; I'm more worried about trouble finding you, good luck Jack."

I smiled at him again and left. As I passed through the doors of the Admiral's office, I said bye to Annie, not knowing if I'd ever be here again.

There were two sides to that coin: sure I was going to serve on the Enterprise**,** but this was such a good thing for me. If I played my cards right I could find to opportunity to complete a few things I'd waited a decade to complete. It was the right thing for me.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Being a Lieutenant had its perks. First off I got my own quarters, all right they weren't exactly huge but they were big enough for just me. Second, I was actually going to be treated with a little respect and on some level I was very much in charge of some things.

I arrived on the Enterprise a day earlier than everyone else and since I pretty much had the whole ship to myself, except for the engineers, who were trying to fix it after the battle with the Narada, and the senior members of staff, such as the Chief Medical Officer, Captain and Second in Command. It was kind of cool.

I only spent enough time in my quarters to dump my stuff there before walking to the Sickbay, to see exactly where I'd be working**,** and as I walked down the corridor, I started to find that the white walls and silver floors are amazingly shiny, but also very boring.

The Sickbay doors opened with their usual "swish" and I walked in to find that it isn't as deserted as the rest of the ship. There are three men and a woman all in red uniforms sat or laid on beds waiting to be treated by a rather flustered looking Dr McCoy. Without even turning around he shouts to me: "Just take a seat on a bed I'll be with you when I can."

"Sir?" I ask curiously, expecting an explanation

"Take a seat on a bed I'll be with you when I can." He snapped sounding impatient.

Realising what he was on about I said, "Sir, my name is Lieutenant Karev and I'm the second doctor assigned to the Enterprise."

He turned around with a look of relief on his face, but before he could speak I continued, "If you don't mind I'd rather like to start treating the rather pale looking Ensign with a head wound."

"Well it'd be a start." He snapped in a sarcastic tone and waved me on, leaving me to treat what turned out to only be a small cut above the Ensign's left eye – small, but it bled like a bitch.

After that I treated some small chemical burns and a broken finger before Sickbay was empty apart from me, Dr McCoy and another Ensign with a rather severe chemical burn on his left arm and torso. Dr McCoy placed him under sedation and we could do nothing more than leave the dermabrasion field to do its work.

After I cleaned away some of the equipment, I looked around with a sigh. For what only turned out to be two hours of work, I'd started to get a headache and really didn't want to do the necessary paperwork. However, I went ask Dr McCoy - who was in his office - if he wanted any help filling out the paperwork on the patients he didn't treat.

I carefully walked over to the open door and, leaning against the frame, asked: "Sir would you like me to file the paperwork on the patients I treated?"

He looked up from his desk and smiled for the first time that afternoon, "Actually, yes. That'd help…believe it or not."

I scowled and shot back with, "Sarcasm will only get you a dirty look and something thrown at you in future, even if you are the CMO."

I thought I'd be reprimanded for that but he just laughed and stated: "You're fiery, kid. I like that, what did you say your name was?"

"Lieutenant Karev, sir. Lieutenant Jack Karev." I replied nonchalantly, reaching for three of the five P.A. in front of him.

"Jack?" he asked raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"Yeah, Jack." I answered simply, sitting down in the chair opposite him. He raised his eyebrow again. I just shrugged in reply. He laughed again and this time it was my turn to raise an eyebrow:

"Sorry," he said "It's just we don't get many girls around here called Jack."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

About halfway through the last one, an argument happening down the corridor caused Dr McCoy to look up from his reports looking irritated. I was, inevitably, curious so I got up and checked out exactly what was making all the noise; only to find the one thing I didn't want to. Walking towards me in an all black uniform was the Captain of the Enterprise, the infamous, James. T. Kirk. With him were a slightly disgruntled looking Vulcan- if Vulcans can look disgruntled- and another engineer who spoke in a very fast Scottish accent.

Luckily, they didn't notice me so I slipped back inside the Sickbay in the hope they weren't coming to talk to Dr McCoy. As the Sickbay doors closed behind me, he shouted from his office: "Something wrong Lieutenant?"

"No, sir I just thought I heard something from Ensign Peterson." I replied, taking my seat and restarting on the report. I thought I'd gotten away with my little excursion without any questions when, Sickbay doors open and the three arguing men walk in.

"Captain, to leave Space-dock before all the repairs are completely would be illogical."

"Cap'n I never thought ad say this but I agree with Mr Spock, we cannea leave before thev finished."

"Scotty, you said that we could complete the remaining repairs while out of Space-dock."

"I did Cap'n but it doesnae mean it's a good idea."

"Bones," the Captain walked into the office followed by the other two, "Do you have all the supplies and equipment you need on board?"

"Well, yes Jim, apart from all but one of my staff," he answered nodding to me. He leaned back on his chair, placing his final report on the desk with a flourish. I'd been sat there unsure what to do but now I do what is expected and stand up to a rather lax attention for the Captain.

All he said was "You can sit down Ensign."

"Lieutenant, sir." I mumbled in reply as I sit down, praying he wouldn't recognise my voice.

"Pardon?"

I swallowed and looked up into his face, "I'm a Lieutenant, sir."

"And a doctor, Jim." added Dr McCoy. I just put my head back down and tried to finish the report; however, no one seemed to want to let me do this.

"Lieutenant who?" I look up at the Captain again and silently curse Starfleet.

"Jack Karev sir," Luckily he didn't bat an eyelid, so if he had registered who I am he didn't let on.

"Stand up for me Lieutenant." I complied, mainly because I had no choice.

"Why is your uniform different to every other woman's on this ship?" he asked, making a scowl appear on my face.

"I've some severe scarring on the back of my legs from an incident a few years back. Admiral Archer said that as long as I stuck to the main dress code I could wear the trousers underneath the dress to cover them up. I think an attachment was sent to you today sir." I replied, using all my self-control to keep my voice level. I really wanted to tell him to fuck right off.

I turned to Dr McCoy, practically pleading with my eyes for him to give me an occupation that got me away from there.

Luckily he took the hint and said, "If you've finished the reports I'll check them over and if you'd be so kind as to go and check on Peterson…"

I nodded, "Not a problem sir,"

I turned back to the Captain and the two others, knowing what I was going to say next could have gotten me into a lot of trouble, "Does anyone here wish to sight any objections about me checking Ensigns Peterson's burns?"

The Captain stared at me for a moment and then frowned at my slight attitude but he let it slide since there was no one else there and it was my first day, "No, dismissed Lieutenant."

As I walked out of Dr McCoy's office, the door closed behind me but I could still hear their conversation: "That kid's got attitude."

"To be honest Jim, she could have all the attitude in the world, I don't care: she's a good doctor and to be honest she's not much of a kid, she's the same age as you are."

"Yes, Captain, what Dr McCoy says is true; the Lieutenant comes with the highest praise from most of her instructors."

"Yes, well that's not the point. That was insubordination and I can't allow that from anyone, even if they are a good doctor. There's something else as well, there's something about her that I don't like, I don't know what it is, why I don't; I just don't."

"Well Jim, that's pretty much what I expected from you," Doctor McCoy retorted, with a chuckles

"What does that mean?" the Captain asked sounding disgruntled.

"Well think about it, she talked back to you, that don't happen to you, from anybody except me and Spock."

"It's not just that Bones, I can't explain it, but there's something I don't like about that kid. I can say from experience that she's going to be trouble, and I don't like trouble unless I've caused it." I said exasperatedly.

"Well, Jim I like her. She's clever and she'll make my job a lot easier."

As I listened I check Peterson's arm and torso. Even though they seem to be healing with the demabration field there was some severe discolouration that Id never seen in a burns patient before. I grabbed a tricorder and see if there were any abnormal readings but nothing came up.

I turned around, walked over to the door and knocked and a shout of, "What is it kiddo?" greets me.

I walked in and handed him the tricorder saying: "Peterson's showing some severe discolouration, the tricorder's not showing any abnormal readings but it still doesn't look right to me sir, would you just take a look for me?"

"Yeah, sure." He got up and walked over to the bed, and looked closely at the discoloured skin on the Ensign. "It looks as if there is a small infection in the skin tissue which we'll need to treat, go and get a dermatology tricorder for me Lieutenant."

"Sir, I mean no disrespect in asking this," I started as I collected the tricorder "but for the love of God please don't keep calling me Lieutenant. I'm going to be here everyday and if you're going to call me by my rank for the next- however long I'm going to be here, I may lose my mind, so just call me Jack or Kiddo or whatever, just not Lieutenant."

"Lieutenant," a voice called from behind us, "Do you not think that, that is a little inappropriate?"

I turned around and met the Captain eyes defiantly, "Not really, we're doctors, since when have we ever followed the strict military rules?"

I shrugged, before continuing, "Plus, when we finally start working with full staff there'll be five Lieutenants working here, if he calls me Jack or Kiddo or his word of choice, that way he gets the doctor he wanted not four other nurses."

The Captain scowled at my logical argument, knowing full well I was right but not wanting to admit it. He could feel it too, I knew he could. That burning need to get everything out, he was fighting to understand why he felt like he knew me, why he felt uncomfortable around me, why he didn't like me- I suppose if I'm lucky he'll think I'm just another one night stand.

"All right kiddo," I turned back to face Dr McCoy, "But If I'm calling you that, you can call me Bones and we can say "fuck it" to regulations."

I sensed the Captain scowl even more and I grinned at Dr McCoy sheepishly. Okay, so maybe this might not be so bad…..


	2. Clouds in my Coffee

**Chapter 2: Clouds in My Coffee**

_We're stuck in that confined spaced. Metal walls, metal roof, metal floor- what's left of the ship that brought us to this God-forsaken planet. About four foot of space wall to wall and all these people around me. I'm cold, the lights gone, and I'm so cold. We've been forced into here by those creatures. I'm trying to rationalise why we lost Shazza, to what I think is everyone's annoyance I do this out loud: _

"_She should've stayed down. If she only would've stayed down, she'd be okay. She wouldn't have died."_

_Then John's cuts in, voicing what everyone is really thinking: "Do you remember the bone yard?" Fry glares at him; how could you forget thousands of skeletons laid as far as the eyes could see? I shudder slightly at the thought of it, "These just might be the fuckers that killed every living thing on this planet."_

_I don't want to think about it so I ask to anyone: "What are we gonna do now?"_

_The two Arab boys speak softly to each other and Imam, while Paris cuts in with his self-preservation question, "Are these the only lights we have left? Is this everything?"_

_I start to panic a little; if this really is all the light we have we're screwed. I don't like dark places, I especially don't like dark confined spaces. _

_Fry answers him, "No, there's a cutting torch on the floor here somewhere I just can't find it."_

_Imam cuts across her: "Quiet please. Everyone." He's finally drawn our attention fully, towards the sounds of the creatures outside. Their strange squealing. I'm shaking from fear and shock but also curious:_

"_Why do they do that, make that sound?"_

_Imam answers, "Perhaps it's the way they see, with the sound reflecting back…"_

_He's cut off by a noise down the corridor, a squeal of bone on metal, a rattle of the side panels of the ship. Then there is a small silence as their sweet, musical, yet frightening and sinister calls can be heard echoing around the outside again…_

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I woke up with that sound ringing in my head; echoing around my quarters. I was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. I had nightmares in fits and spurts, still do: about what happened on the planet, and what happened after- I shudder to think at the different outcomes that might have occurred…especially if…no, I shouldn't think like that

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply trying to slow down my racing heart. I could feel it pumping in my chest, the sound pounding in my ears. I felt sick.

Sighing I checked the time on the clock next to my bed, I still had two hours before my shift officially started but I couldn't sit around in my quarters- not after that dream- I needed to find something to do.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I was early and unsurprised that, upon walking in, I found Sickbay pretty much deserted. Bones was in his office and Peterson was still under sedation, although I could see the discolouration had become worse overnight. I walked over to inspect it further and found that it had now spread over most of his chest, arm and even down his leg. It had changed from a beige colour to a dark brown mottled colour, that was an exact shade of "dirt". The equipment showed that his blood pressure was up, his heart rate was fast and he had a fever of 102°. I frowned because this means only one thing; the anti-biotics weren't working.

"You're early Kiddo."

I turned around to see Bones stood in the doorway of his office. I shrugged and said simply, "Woke up early."

He looked at me weirdly but didn't ask anymore questions. Instead he changed the subject,

"I can't think of what it is," obviously referring to Peterson.

He walked over to stand next to me, "I've been observing him all night and it's just slowly getting worse."

He sounded worried but it didn't show it on his face. I looked back at Peterson and said, "Maybe we're treating it wrong then, maybe we should take the dermabrasion field off and wait for the infection to clear before we continue healing the burns. I mean it's basically steroids we're feeding him and it might be affecting the infection"

"Don't think I haven't thought about it kiddo, but the thing is, if we take it off and the infection gets worse…well it'd be a waste of time and he'd be in a lot of pain without it." Bones mused.

I frowned a little bit, "Well then maybe, we're trying to treat it with the wrong anti-biotics. It is possible, or even we are treating it correctly, but it's mutated to become immune to the treatment."

"Mmmmh" I looked at him, "I'd thought of that as well, but I don't know what else to treat it with, I mean, where do you start?"

"I guess, we should leave him on the current treatment because if we take him off it might just spread faster, and leave him on the steroids from the dermabrasion field as well, but try and find other treatments that might work, trial and error I suppose."

"I hate using patients and test subjects. I'm a doctor, not a lab tech." he said simply, a frown etched deep into his features.

I laughed despite the serious situation, "So am I, but what other choice do we have?"

He looked at me. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. I could see from his face, and I could feel the words hanging in the air: we don't have one.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The rest of the crew was aboard but we weren't going to leave space-dock yet. The Captain came down to enquire after Peterson, although I think he wanted to talk to Bones more than that, and when he found that actually we were struggling to find, not just the treatment, but the cause of his problems, he decided to give us more time.

Whatever it was had sped up. Most of his body was now that dirt-coloured mottled brown and his fever was up to 103°. Bones and I were both worried that if it reached his brain, we're not going to be able to save him. Bones should've gone off shift about 4 hours ago, when I was supposed to start, yet he was still in Sickbay.

I was sat on the bed next to Peterson; with a plethora of P.A. containing the most recent medical journals in the vain hope that we'd find something to help point us in the right direction. I'd had no hits so far and there'd been no sound from Bones, in his office, apart from the occasional curse, when he got frustrated or annoyed. I think we were both starting to feel the pressure. If we don't find something soon, we really were going to lose him.

A sudden beep from the Sickbay comm. made me jump slightly. I waited for Bones to make a move but he didn't so I jumped down off the bed and answered it: "Sickbay?"

"This is the Captain, is Bones there?"

I rolled my eyes, "He's in his office…"

"What's he doing there?"

"Working, sir" I snapped, managing to hold back the "believe it or not" I want to add on to the end.

"Right, tell him I'm coming down to talk to him," that statement was followed by a rustle of movement from the other side of the comm.

Confused, I replied simply, "Yes, sir." I closed the linked and walked over to his office.

"Bones?" he looked up from his desk, "The Captain is on his way down to speak to you."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "He didn't say."

"Thanks Kiddo." I just smiled and returned to what I was doing.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

About ten minutes later the doors to Sickbay opened and the Captain walked in. He didn't look as if there was anything particularly urgent bothering him, but he completely ignored me and walked straight into Bones' office- to which I was rather relieved.

I went back to work not really paying attention to what was going on- because I had my priorities in the right order…for once. I'd settled down on the bed and skimmed through six or seven articles before they both left Bones' office and walked over to me and Peterson.

"How's he doing?" the Captain asked, looking sincerely concerned

"Well, his fever up from this morning and most of his body is covered in this discolouration now, it's even started to work its way up his neck. We've managed to slow his heart rate and lower his blood pressure but apart from that there's nothing else we can do." I said, simply.

Behind Bones and the Captain I can see four on duty staff nurses looking rather upset. From what Bones had told me Peterson was well liked, his sense of humour kept everyone going as the ship limped back from their last fight with the Narada.

The Captain turned to Bones, "Do you want to explain what that means in black and white terms?"

"He's not going to make it Jim. There's nothing else we can do now- just make sure he's pain free and comfortable." Bones replied sadly.

I turned away. I've always hated this part. I think it's because I'm so stubborn- I just won't let go. When a case ends like this it isn't fair, I got saved so many times and everyone else should too. It's the way I looked at things then. I was still naive. I looked back and see the Captain nodding.

"All right," he said solemnly, "Let me know when…" his voice trailed off.

"I will Jim."

With that the Captain left again and Bones went back to his office. I looked from Peterson to the sad faced nurses and then to Bones' office and decided that I couldn't stay there. I walked over to the office doorway and whispered: "We can't save him, but maybe we can give his family an answer why. We shouldn't give up just yet…should we?"

He waited for a moment, "No we shouldn't but I hate hanging around when they're dying like this. It's the worst part of the job. I feel like a mortician."

"I know the feeling. Why don't we take some of the medical journals down to the Cafeteria and get a cup of coffee? At least we don't have an ominous air of Peterson hanging constantly over our heads. Plus, you've got to be tired and since there's very little chance of you going to sleep, coffee might help." I suggested quietly, hoping he wasn't going to leave me on my own.

"That, Kiddo, is the best idea I've heard all day."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

My coffee had gone cold and there were clouds in the top where the milk had started to congeal a little bit. We'd been sat there for half an hour, leaving the nurses with Peterson- on the understanding that they'd contact us when he was near the very end. So far we'd not said a word to each other. We were both trying hard to find a reason why. The crew all around us were chatting and laughing, which at times was irritating, but anything was better than the solitary beeping of Peterson's monitors and the quiet whispering of the nurses.

Occasionally people stopped and talk to Bones and occasionally they'd acknowledge me, but they moved off quickly leaving us to our work. After another few minutes, I threw my P.A.D.D gently onto the table and asked: "Do you want another coffee?"

He looked up and gave me a small smile, "Yeah that'd be great; I think I'm starting to strain my eyes."

He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands over his face. I smiled a little bit and went to get us some sustenance.

When I returned there was a group of about four people sat around our table with Bones. I placed the coffee down in front of him and he introduced everyone: "This is Sulu, Chekov, Scotty and you already know Jim."

I nodded to the Captain and looked carefully at the others sat around: "I'm Lieutenant Karev but you can call me Jack."

Then, as if someone had switched on a light bulb in my head, I remembered what Annie said to me about the Chief Engineer and the accident with Porthos. I had to say something: "Scotty, would that make you the lame-brain who made Porthos disappear?"

Scotty turned to look me in the eye, "What or who is Porthos?"

"Admiral Archers Beagle. The one that some clever git, called Montgomery Scott made disappear and was unable to find again. Are you the clever git?" I replied carefully.

He looked at me indignantly and then to the Captain, "You were right, Cap'n. She does have 'n attitude."

Bones laughed and said, "But in her defence it's funny when she talks back."

Scotty looked back at me with a rather sheepish look, "Erm…well…in answer to your question, yeah that was me."

I laughed, "He still really hates you."

Scotty grinned, "Well, am not surprised."

I took a drink of my coffee, when, the very young looking Chekov asked, "How is Peterson?"

I exchanged a look with Bones. He stared down at the cup of coffee in his hands and answered: "Not good,"

I thought he'd finished because he paused for a long time, but then continued, "Whatever, it is has spread up to his brain and he probably won't see tomorrow."

I saw them visibly flinch at the thought of it: losing another member of the crew; losing someone else after the massacre at Vulcan. In a composed voice Sulu asked, "Do you know what it is?"

I would have answered that but Bones cut it before I could, "No, unfortunately we don't. It's why we're here with all these P.A.. We're trying to find out what it is."

"Is it frustrating doktor?" asks Chekov

I did manage to answer this one, "Incredibly. The cases like this drive you mad. You just want to be able to give their family an answer, but it's so hard. There's no respite from it either, it constantly goes eats away at you in the back of you head. It's like a para-" I stopped and met Bones' eyes.

"It's a parasite." I whispered.

The realisation dawned on his face, "Shit."

I sat back in my chair, staring at the ceiling with my head in my heads. It was completely unbelievable, all this time we were looking for an infection from the burns, but chances are it was already there.

I looked back to the table and everyone seemed to be confused. I decided to enlighten them; "The thing that's killing Peterson isn't and infection like we first thought, it's a parasite."

I locked eyes with Bones and I knew that he was thinking exactly the same thing I was: if only.

The Captain looked between us, confused, "Well, what difference would it have made to him, if you'd have found out earlier?"

I glared at him and Bones answered shortly, "He wouldn't be dying. Most likely, he'd been recovering nicely, without a care in the world."

He was about to go on but I put a hand on his arm, not for any of them but for me. I didn't want to hear it, I knew what would've happened- I knew some of it was our fault. Our comm.s went off at the same time, but I reached mine first, "Karev,"

"It's Nurse Chapel, Peterson's heart rate has dropped to 60 and his blood pressure is low. I don't think he's got a lot of time left." She stated quietly

"All right, I'll come up."

I closed the comm. and got up to leave when Bones grabs my arm and asked: "Where are you going?"

"To sit with our patient while he dies."

"I figured that; but why you, not me?"

"Because you've been awake for the last fourteen hours and I'm telling you to go get some sleep."

He scowled and replied, "Who died and made you CMO"

"You will, if you don't go to sleep." He gave me a small smile and I smiled back. I grabbed the P.A. off the table and left for Sickbay.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I hate this part. This stupid waiting game we have to play, when there's nothing we can do.

Peterson was slowly drifting. His vitals dropped and they crashed not long after. A monotone beep cut across the silence that was hanging heavily over Sickbay. Peterson was gone. Peterson was gone and it's partly my fault, I knew it was. I should have caught it, I should have seen it- it should have been obvious.

A few hours later I was sat at Bones' desk my head in my hands. I felt like an executioner- especially with this one. It's always worse when you know it's your fault. Ten minutes feels like an hour and slowly you can't find the strength or the inclination to move.

I called the time of death, signed the death certificate and I started the report. I looked at my watch, realising that I'd been on shift for nine hours, I needed another coffee and to get out of there.

I was about to get up and leave when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said, sitting back down

A nurse, who I don't know that name of, walks in "I need you to sign the nurses report, Doctor."

She placed a P.A.D.D in front of me and I skimmed over it quickly. I looked up at the nurse and asked off hand, "What's your name?"

"Ensign Marx, Kayleigh Marx." She replied as I scribbled my signature in my best doctor scrawl at the bottom of the report.

As I handed it back to her I said, "You'll have to get the Doctor McCoy to sign it as well."

"Erm… Nurse Chapel had a question about the post-mortem…" she whispered.

"I will be performing it in about half an hour. Please ask Nurse Chapel if she could assist me." I replied simply, knowing that no one wanted the job of assisting. I didn't even want the job of performing.

As she left I said quietly, in the hope of reassurance, "It's nice to meet you Marx, I just wish it was under better circumstances."

She didn't reply, she just left.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I walked into Sickbay, five hours after my shift was supposed to start. I didn't mean to be late; I just didn't wake up when I was supposed to. In my office I found Jack, lounging around in my chair looking very bored and very tired, still wearing some scrubs.

As I walk in she looked me up and down, "You're late."

"Nah I'm not Kiddo, I arrived exactly when I wanted to." I grinned

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, okay, whatever you say Doc."

"Doc? It makes me sound old. Stick to Bones." I grinned again, trying to lighten her mood.

She smiled slightly and gently chucked a P.A.D.D across the desk to me, "That's the post-mortem report on Ensign Peterson. The nurses' report and my report are also on there. The cause of death was heart-failure induced by the parasites burrowing into the brainstem. You just need to sign off on it."

I skimmed over what she'd written quickly, and noticed a few things I wanted to change. She was too mechanical in her way of talking about things: like Peterson was a robot; not a person. I figured it was just her way of dealing with it. I expected her to go straight to bed after I arrived- mainly because she's been working for thirteen hours, but she was still sat in my chair.

"Kiddo maybe you should go get some sleep." I said with a subtlety of a brick. I was basically saying "get the fuck out of my chair."

She got up and threw herself down on the couch and answered: "If you wanted your chair Bones, all you had to do was ask."

"Sorry Kiddo."

"Never mind and I'm not tired to be honest. I'd just lay awake in my quarters thinking what a waste of time it is to just sit there and do nothing. If you have no complaints I'll stay here and do something constructive."

"I really think you should get some sleep…"

"Bones," she snapped, "I'm fine. When I'm tired I'll sleep. Until then, I'll be useful and get you a cup of coffee, because in all honesty, you look terrible."

I scowled and replied grumpily, "Fine, Black, two sugars and while you're up go see if Jim is wandering around doing nothing and send him to talk to me."

"Jim?" she raised an eyebrow in an almost Spock-like way,

"Captain Kirk."

"Oh, okay. Black, two sugars yeah?" I just nodded in reply, knowing full well that's she's putting off another meeting with Jim, but I had to talk to him about running checks on people. As a precaution to make sure no one else had the parasite, because we now know how to treat it and no wanted another Peterson.


	3. Dark Road

**Chapter 3: Dark Road**

First thing I did was get Bones' coffee, because he needs coffee after he wakes up. I wandered down to the cafeteria and grabbed two coffees in those weirdly awesome thermal mugs that keep your drink nice and warm. The crew were getting a little restless, I could tell just from walking in there. They wanted to leave Earth Space-dock and get started on our "five year mission"; but we could't leave; not then anyway. We had to start checking everyone for any sign of the parasites, and then we had to treat them, which meant we were stuck there.

As I was walking back to the lift to take me back to Sickbay, I was pulled into reality when I walked into someone since I'd been staring off into space.

"Oh shit I'm sorry." I mumbled, only to look up and see my best friend Stefania Tyler and Scotty laughing like little children. I shook my head and sighed with relief as I checked that none of the coffee in the cups had spilled out.

"You know Jack; you gotta watch where you're going." Stef said grinning at me.

"Shut up Stef, and if you don't I'll order you to do it." I replied scowling.

She laughed again, "You wouldn't dare."

Shit, I hated it when she was right, "Yeah well shush okay? Good, now where are you two going?"

"Well, we were going to go and sit in the Rec-room but it was like paddy's bazaar in there, then we though the cafeteria…" explained Scotty

I smiled, "No point it's packed in there too. You can accompany me to Sickbay to give Bones his coffee and then we can go find somewhere quiet."

Stef grinned at me again and said, "Sure why not, although I'd love to know when you went from doctor to waitress…"

"Stef?" I asked as we start walking towards the lift again.

"Mmmh?" she replied, casting a sideward glance up at me.

"If I didn't have my hands full, I'd hit you, you know that right?"

She giggled again and replied, "Yes, yes I do."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I walked back into the doors of Sickbay and headed straight to Bones' office to give him his coffee.

"I didn't see the Captain around; my best guess is that he's in his quarters or on the bridge so you should probably try there." I suggested with my best, "you know I didn't really try smile.

"Do I look like a detective to you?" Bones snarled at me, his caffeine levels obviously dangerously low.

I just scowled back and snapped, "No, but you at least try to do your own errands. Stef and Scotty are here and since you're cranky I'm going to go and see if the Captain is on the bridge, that way I'm out of your way and you can be sour away from anyone else."

I turned around and left his office, counting down in my head "5…4…3…2…1…"

"Jack?" he called from inside his office,

"Dr McCoy?" I shouted back in an attempt to wind him up.

"Bones-"

"I'm not called Bones sir, you are." I replied, feeling rather witty, sharing a grin with Scotty and Stef.

"Now you're just being facetious…" he muttered quietly, but loud enough for my hearing to pick up on it.

"Yes, yes I am," I poked me head around the doorway "now what can I help you with?"

"Yeah, could you see if there are any sour grapes in the cafeteria on your way?" he asked keeping a serious face.

I glared at him, with a look that could kill causing him to laugh. I asked in a whimsical tone, "Did you know people have died for less?"

He laughed again; thinking that I'm joking probably.

"I'm going now, anything else?" I asked, turning the conversation back on track.

"Yeah, if you find Jim, don't upset him because I'm the one that has to listen to him bitch about you okay?"

"I'll try Bones." I walked back to Stef and Scotty and called back "Later Bones."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

After a little bit of walking to the Turbolift, Scotty asked how Stef and I got to know each other. I smiled and said, "That's a funny story actually."

"I don't think funny is the right word you know? I thought it was hilarious, especially when you were there… but it's probably not to anyone else" Stef commented.

"It probably was… Well, I was in my… fourth year at the academy, I think. I don't know, Stef how old were you when we first met?" I asked, unsure of the time frame of the second longest friendship I've ever had.

"Twenty,"

"Oh so I was then. Stef had just started and I was starting my fourth year, it was a Friday night and like all cadets we'd both gone drinking off campus, we'd never met and we were both on our own, but neither of us really cared. However, Stef and I were both in the same bar, I was sat at the back nursing a bourbon and coke and she was at the bar, not a good place for a woman on her own. Some cadets who are living proof we descended from apes"

Scotty snickered slightly at that and said, "Aye I know the type."

"Everyone does, anyway, these guys started to flirt with her. Stef, as you can see, is a small petite Italian, so she attracts the attentions of a lot of guys hence her politely telling them to "go away". However, like all idiot males they kept bothering her and it was starting to annoy me so I went up to her and said "I'm so sorry I'm late, I was in the library looking over some medical journals and I lost track of time."

"So me, being the clever sport that I am played a long: "Took you long enough, I've had about three shots sitting here waiting for you."

We'd started acting it out, just stepping into a role play, "Well I couldn't help it, anyway to make it up to you I'll by you three drinks at Joe's okay?"

"Sounds awesome to me."

"So we left thinking that they'd stay put and not follow us out of the bar, but unbelievably, they did and tried it on in the middle of the street. Well, I don't like guys touching me; they tend to loose limbs when that happens so I flipped out and kind of kicked ten barrels of shit out of them, with help from Stef and they ended up in a pile on the floor. We just left them there and spent the rest of the night drinking and getting to know each other." I explained, without even changing my tone of voice.

"But the next day we both got called to Admiral Archer's office, where I was sat, scared shitless that I was about to be kicked out of the academy, when Jack walks in and goes to his secretary "hey Annie, how's your day been?" I was so shocked I nearly had a heart attack and when the secretary smiled and replied to her I was even more shocked."

"I sat down next to her and Stef asked, "You've been here before?" And I just replied honestly, "Stef, I practically live in here." After that we explained the situation to the Admiral and got off Scott-free 'cept a small warning about misconduct in a public-place… something like that and the guys got put on suspended punishment. After that our friendship was sealed really."

By this time we'd almost reached the bridge. I'd mentioned to Scotty that I needed to go find the Captain and basically he'd led the way from there. Stef and I just talked and followed, "Erm, Scotty, where are we?"

"Jus' outside the bridge, why?" he replied.

I shook my head, "No reason, I just wondered is all."

"It's this door here," he said, walking in, as if nothing was wrong. Stef and I exchanged a look and followed him in, where we caught then end of his sentence, "so we'd like to check that panel near Lieutenant Uhura, if that's all right Cap'n."

"Yeah, Scotty, go ahead, it's not like we're going anywhere." He said furrowing his brow a little. I started to smile, then caught myself and stopped quickly. It was a good thing I did because he turned back to me, and glared. Probably because I'd entered his domain and I'm leaned against one of the glass star charts.

"Can we help you Lieutenant?" he asked in a sarcastic tone

I smiled sweetly and replied swiftly, "Actually sir, you can. Bones wants to talk to you about running checks on the crew so we can ensure no one else ends up the say way as Ensign Peterson."

He scowled and asked, "Why didn't he just contact me over the comm.s?"

I shrugged, "Because he's in the sort of mood where he wants to wind everyone up because he's a cantankerous old man. That's probably why, plus he knew it'd annoy you and me"

I paused for a while as everyone on the bridge looks at me knowing exactly what I was doing, "…Sir."

"Thank you Lieutenant, I'll go speak to him now." With that he got up and walked past me and through the door.

Suddenly there was a giggle from across the room, "How do you get away with it? Seriously?"

"I think it's because… well I don't know Stef…haven't a clue." I replied, frowning a little.

"No I don't think anyone does." said Sulu from his piloting position.

I walked into the centre of the bridge and stared around the place. It was full of people, but I couldn't understand why. "If we're not going anywhere, and trust me until we've checked the whole crew, we're not, why re you all here?"

"Because, ve haf nothing better to do." Chekov replied from behind me.

"Wow you people lead full lives don't you? Anyways, I have work to do in Sickbay so I'm going to disappear, nice seeing everyone and Stef?"

There came a small clang as she hit her head, while re-emerging from underneath the panel.

"Shit! ... Yeah Jack?"

I grinned wickedly, "Don't bang your head."

With that I walked out, hearing the Alpha shift bridge crew trying not to laugh.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

By the time I'd made it back to Sickbay, Bones was locked in his office talking to the Captain and the nurses had changed shifts. Having nothing better to do, I went over and introduced myself. There were about five nurses on duty in Sickbay and another four on call if they were needed. The two head nurses were Christine Chapel a tall, thin, blonde haired, blue eyed woman with a kind nature. The other was her complete antithesis: Amanda Croft. A short, African-American with dark hair, dark eyes and an attitude that could keep any patient in bed. I decided quickly that I liked them both, between them, me and Bones should have no problems with the staff…or patients.

We were stood chatting and trying to get to know each other a little when the door to Bones' office opened and the Captain walked over to the main comm. on the wall and said, "Bridge, Uhura can you play this as a ship wide message?"

"Yes Captain, you're on,"

"This is you Captain speaking, we have just lost a member of our crew and to prevent this happening to someone else the medical staff are carrying out check on every crew member. Any member of the crew, who is not part of Alpha shift, must report to the Rec-rooms immediately. It is compulsory and we cannot leave Space-dock until this is completed so if you want to actually start on this mission, co-operate with the medical personnel and make their lives easy. Thank you."

With that he walked out, without even saying bye to Bones. I looked back at the nurses and said "You know what this means don't you?"

"Yep," Amanda replied, "No sleep."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I was stood in front of a room full of people. God-Damnit! All I could think was: I'm a doctor, not a politician. I was not made for public speaking, except there was no one else to do it, since Jack is organising the enlisted personnel in Rec-room B. I cleared my throat loudly and the buzz of conversation died down.

"Right, as most of you know…we erm… we lost a crew member yesterday." I paused for a moment realising that Jack had been up that long!

"We lost him to a parasite, which buries into the skin and we have to check every member of the crew to make sure no one else has it. This means that we have to search all of you in a physical examination."

There was a commotion as people start to object but I cut them off shouting as I do, "Look, its not exactly the way my staff wanted to spend their time, checking every crew member on this ship, and trust me I don't want to either, but we haven't got another way to test you so, you're either grounded and quarantined until you are checked or, you're checked now and we can get on with our lives. Now, any questions?"

No one moved, probably because they're too shy or they can tell how pissed off I was.

"Well, if you do you can ask one of the nurses, myself or Doctor Karev, who I'd like to introduce you all to, seeing as she has just walked through the door."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Simple as. That was all I could think when every person in the Rec-room turned to look at me. I shook my head and strode up to where Bones was standing, on a long table. I quickly jumped up and stood next to him.

"Okay, I wasn't going to introduce myself but, well…." I shrugged, "I'm Doctor Karev and as Dr McCoy said I can answer any question you may have. We've worked out a system and if you don't have any objection Dr McCoy I'll talk them through it."

I turned to look at Bones who smiled slightly and replied, "No I have to go supervise the nurses."

"Mmmh, I'm sure you do." I muttered so only he could hear. I only got a glare in return. As he left I turned to face the room again,

"The system is simple and will work according to your surname so in the first hour we're hoping to get through A's, B's and C's and then D's, E's and F's, followed by G, H, I, next is J, K, L then M and N on their own, this includes those of you with Mc or Mac names. We've designated that a longer slot than the others because there's a lot of people in that band so after and hour and a half we'd like to start seeing O,P, and R, with S and T's next. U, V and W will be the penultimate group, with those of you with surnames starting with Q, U, X and Z will all be placed together at the end. If you're still unsure about what your time is there is a notice pinned to the wall over there, so don't hesitate to check."

I pointed over to the wall. Remembering I had to breathe I paused and inhaled slowly, I was not made for public speaking; public arguing yes… public speaking no.

"When you get into Sickbay what will happen is that we have two members of the Admin team checking off the people who come in to be checked. You must go see them first because anyone who doesn't will be pulled in and checked again if necessary. You'll then be moved to a waiting area, where you'll just have to wait your turn. It might be a while but there's nothing we can do about that, we have all the staff working, but we're only human and can't live without sleep. Sickbay will be separated out into separate cubicles"

I swallowed knowing this wasn't going to go down well. "Once in the cubicle, you will be asked to strip down to your underwear, so that the nurse or Doctor you are assigned to can search you."

As I expected there was uproar. There was when I told the enlisted personnel too, although a little less than this. "Quiet, please."

I waited for a few seconds and then yelled, "QUIET!"

Silence fell quickly and I continued, "This is the only way we can do this. It's not ideal we know but there's no other way for this to work. What we're looking for is something very specific and can be found easily enough in this manner. Okay? Once you've been checked and you're clean the staff will mark your name as such and you'll be allowed to leave immediately. However, if you're found to have it, you will be given a course of treatment, asked to come back after the course is finished and you will be marked appropriately, so we know who has to come back. Any further questions can be asked to the medical staff before the check begins. Please don't forget to check the list, Thank you."

I jumped down off the table and left, before lots of questions started or I got lynched. Both were pretty bad situations for me to be in. I sighed, I'd been awake for about thirty six hours and it'd started to catch up a little bit. I shook my head and yawned slightly as I walked back to Sickbay, where luckily there is a table of coffee waiting for me. I met Amanda's eyes and I could see her thinking exactly the same thing: This is going to be a long night.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

We were nearing the end of Beta shift checks. We'd been at this for seven and three quarter hours; having just finished the S's, T's, leaving only U, V, W, Q, X, Y and Z to go. However it'd gotten to the point where I could barely concentrate. I'd been awake for over forty three hours and I had got to stop. I knew everyone else was tired but they've been sleeping in shifts, whereas Bones and I would only quit if we were dying.

I wondered over to Bones and gratefully took a cup of coffee from the new tray full. He turned to look at me and asked, "How long have you been awake?"

I shrugged and replied nonchalantly, "About two days…"

"Jack, go to bed, we can finish here and there's going to be a few hours gap between now and when alpha shift have been told to turn up. You really should get some sleep."

Usually I'd argue but I was tired and really was ready to go to sleep, so I put down my coffee and said, "Okay, but you have to call me if you need an extra hand and when the first of Alpha shift come in… Actually we didn't draw up a schedule for them did we?"

"No but we'll manage, what we'll have to do is, if it gets too hectic we'll send them away and tell them to come back. Hey, why am I telling this to you? Go to bed, now."

"Yes Bones, jeez you sound like someone's mother."

"I try."

I grinned and practically staggered out of Sickbay. I'd never been so relieved that I could go to sleep.

Once I was back in my quarters, I didn't even get changed; I just fell on the bed and closed my eyes.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_There's more noise from down the corridor of the ship; the scratching of bone against metal, echoing around the corridor_

_Fry confirms our fears, "Could be a breach in the hull, I don't know."_

_I can hear Riddick smile as he says, "Come on Johns, you got the big gauge." It's ironic; the big space-cop is scared of the dark._

_Johns is always ready with a witty reply though, "I'd rather piss glass. Why don't you go fucking check?"_

_He turns towards Riddick, though I can tell, even in the dark, that he's keeping one eye on the dark corridor. I swallow and then there is some fast movement behind me as Paris starts to panic even more, moving around announcing "I'm not staying here one more second."_

_Johns turns the 12 gauge on him, but he doesn't pay any attention. Weirdly enough, Paris isn't afraid of Johns. I am though, I don't know what it is, there's something….unnatural about his eyes. Paris starts a fight with Imam, trying to get out of the ship, as if he could survive outside. There are about three different shouts of "Hey!" but they don't work. It's not until Fry grabs his shoulders and shouts "Paris!" that he stops._

_Johns takes command again and orders her to "Sit him down."_

_Fry kneels down in front of him and looks him dead in the eyes, "You don't know what's out there."_

"_I don't know what's in here," he reply's with that same fear that's in everyone else's voices too. There's more banging and squealing from down the corridor, but it's closer now. Imam takes action and forces a door open. I don't know where it goes but it has to be better than sitting around in this corridor waiting for them to get us._

"_Hurry!" is all he says, and once we're all inside, he scrambles to close the shutter down again. Imam meets Fry's eyes and for a moment it's almost as if they're a page a head of the rest of us._

"_Now we're trapped in a much smaller space. I hate this." Paris moans. I actually want to punch him. I mean I'm ten and I don't moan as much as him. _

_I look at Imam, there's something kind about his face, trustworthy almost. I look down to the floor and then there is a sudden shout as one of the creatures horns pokes through the shutter. If it had been a few centimetres to the right, it would have speared him. There's a mass scramble to get as far away from it as possible._

_Riddick takes some initiative though, he lights the cutting torch and starts to cut through a wall, into where I don't know, I think it might be a cargo hold. It's dark when we all get through and Riddick immediately walks away from the light we've brought with us. I think he's gone to investigate where we are, leaving us to block the doorway with some big hunk of steel. I don't know what it is and, honestly, I don't care as long as it keeps those creatures away. _

_Johns starts to move after Riddick, very slowly. We all follow not wanting to be left behind, we're all quiet straining to hear something; but what we do hear, just frightens me even more. It's all creaking, squealing from the creatures, banging of bone against metal and even some mumbling, which I don't understand until Imam asks panicking, "Hassan? Where is Hassan?_

_There's more noise from the darkness: Screeching, banging, squealing, a sickly sound almost a squelching sound and thudding, which is getting closer. Riddick rounds a corner with his goggles up. There's a monster behind him but he can't do anything. The light hits his eyes and it hurts him, he yells out, stumbling to the ground as Johns shoots as the creature. _

_An eerie silence hangs in the air for a few seconds._

_The there is a thud as the body of the creature falls in front of us. We scream and cry out, jumping away from it._

"_Is it alive?" Fry asks, looking at it curiously._

_As I move closer I notice something, a sizzling sound, "It's like the light is scalding them," says Paris_

"_It hurts them, light actually hurts them." reply's Fry._

_There is a silence that falls over us again, but it is punctuated by the squelching sound I heard earlier, but louder than before,_

_Imam asks the question we already know the answer to, "Is that Hassan?"_

_Riddick doesn't reply, but Johns just turns towards Imam and says, with no feeling what so ever, "We'll burn a candle for him later. Come on lets get out of here."_

_~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~_

_We're sat around the burning cutting torch. I'm sat on the floor in a corner, near Fry, with my legs up against my chest, shaking… because I'm cold._

"_So we got a cutting torch, we got two hand lights. There's got to be something we can rip out of the crash ship." Fry starts, she looks around optimistically for ideas._

_Then I hear the first useful thing ever to escape Paris' mouth, "Spirits. Anything over 45 proof burns rather well." There's something smug in his voice, as if he's just saved us all._

"_How many bottles you got?" Fry enquires._

"_I don't know. Maybe ten."_

_Fry shrugs, "Okay, Johns you got some flares. So maybe we've got enough light." It's starting to sound like Fry has a plan, when Johns cuts in,_

"_Enough for fucking what?"_

_She shrugs again, "We stick to the plan. We get the four cells back to the skiff, we're off this rock."_

_Then this trips lovely ray of sunshine cuts in again, "I hate to ruin a beautiful theory with an ugly fact but that sand cat is solar. I won't run at night." I want to punch him in the face and say "Shut the fuck up Paris." I don't; but I want to._

_For the third time, Fry shrugs, "So we carry the cells. We drag them whatever it takes."_

_There's one thing I want to clarify though, and as I hear my voice I know I sound scared, it's because I am, I'm terrified, "You mean, tonight, with all those things still out there?"_

_No one answers me but Johns works the question to his advantage, "All right, now how long can this last? Few hours, day tops?_

_Imam has been silently clutching his necklace in a corner. He's not said anything since Hassan died, "I had the impression from the model. The two planets were moving as one and there will be a lasting darkness"_

_Johns pushes his point again, "These suns gotta come up sometime. If these creatures are phobic about light, then we just sit tight and we let the sun come up."_

_Fry then says exactly what I'm thinking, "I'm sure somebody else said that locked up in that coring room."_

_I shudder and Johns starts again, "We need to think about everyone now, especially the kid. How scared's this boy gonna be out there in the dark?"_

_I don't know whether to be happy or pissed off. Happy, because he said he therefore the disguise is working or pissed of because he's using me._

"_Don't use him like that," Fry says to him with a look of disgust._

"_Like what?"_

"_As a smokescreen. You deal with your own fear."_

"_Why don't you shut your fucking mouth for two seconds and let me come up with a plan that doesn't involve mass suicide."_

_Silence falls and we can hear the creatures squealing. I shudder again and look up from the floor, Fry is staring at Johns expectantly, "I'm waiting…How much do you weigh Johns?"_

"_What does it matter Carolyn?"_

"_How much?" Fry yells suddenly_

"_Around seventy nine kilos," Johns reply's_

"'_Cause you're seventy-nine kilos of gutless white meat and that's why you can't think of a better plan."_

_Then everything happens so fast. Johns is fucked off and pulls the gun on Fry. "Is that fucking right?"_

_For the first time in ages Riddick moves quickly, as if to stop him, but then Johns has the gun against his neck. "Where are you goin'?"_

_Imam, ever the peacemaker, says in a disgusted voice, "This solves nothing."_

_Neither of them moves though. They just stare at each other, sizing the other up. Riddick, takes his goggles off with his left hand, not moving his right arm from his side and Johns pushes the gun harder against his throat. Yet, something stops him dead, a tapping sound; we all look to the source and see Riddick tapping a shiv against the plastic buckle on John's leg holster. Neither of them says anything after that. Johns just sits down and Riddick, signals for us to continue._

_Fry, sits down in front of me and says soothingly, "They're afraid of our light. That means we don't have to be so afraid of them,"_

_Imam looks over to us, not looking so certain, "And you are sure, you can get us there, even in the dark?"_

_Fry stands up and says, "No I can't," she nods to Riddick, "But he can."_

_Riddick doesn't say anything, he just turns away from us…_

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I woke up suddenly, shaking, covered in cold sweat and feeling sick. I'd grown sick of the dreams every time I went to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes; the same events playing over and over again in my head. Revealing the truth about the past and how the present was so different. I shook my head and checked my watch for the time. I'd been asleep for eight hours, so I scowled. Bones was supposed to wake me when it was close to the start of the Alpha shift checks. Yet, they'd been working for two hours already, probably only having four hours rest in between. I felt guilty but so much better: even if it did end in a nightmare.

I walked into the tiny bathroom connected to my quarters and started running some water to wash my face. I looked up in the mirror and saw what a mess I looked. My uniform was grubby, my hair a mess; even I couldn't go to work looking like that.

I grabbed a clean dress from the, still unpacked, bag and some clean black jeans to go underneath. There was not much I could do with my hair so I put it into a long plait to keep it out of my way.

Once ready, I headed straight to Sickbay and the first person I saw, conveniently, was Bones. "Dr McCoy, can I see you please?"

"Sure Kiddo," he walked over to me, "What is it?"

"I asked you to wake me up when this shift started, why didn't you?"

"Because, you'd been up for nearly two days and I was not about to risk the health of one of my staff, just to make this go away a little quicker, it doesn't matter anyway, there's still plenty more to go."

"Mmmh, I'm sure, but you're not seeing any of them."

"Oh?"

"No you're going to bed sir, you didn't sleep in the gap, don't lie I can tell. Go get some sleep Bones, you deserve it, I can manage from here."

"All right, but seriously now, Jim, won't let this be done by you. I know him: he won't. Don't fight with him, just wake me okay Kiddo?"

I scowled but didn't argue, "Fine, Bones but I don't know why you pamper to his every whim."

"Because he's my boss that's why."

I grinned, "Yeah, and a CMO doesn't have the power to override any order given by a Captain on medical grounds? Hell Bones, I'm DMO and I have that power. He's just your friend and you can't help it"

He shrugged, "Well, he's pathetic when he doesn't get his own way."

"Mmmh," I shook my head, "I doesn't matter anyway Bones, go to bed or just go to sleep on the couch in your office, but you need to sleep."

"I know, I know, I'm going okay?"

"Thank you," I replied, grinning and rolling my eyes as he walked away. I turned back to the waiting room full of alpha shift officers, "Right, who was Dr McCoy about to call?"

A terrified looking, very young Ensign raised his hand; I smiled at him kindly and pointed to a cubicle.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

We were down to the last few, quite literally. The final few were the Captain, Scotty, Stef, Uhura, Spock, Sulu and Chekov. Sickbay was empty so I sent the nurses to bed and checked on Bones, who was still asleep. I sat down at his desk and bring up the list of crew members who'd been found to have the parasite: only thirty two, which was a lot better than was expected.

As I sat working, I heard the doors to Sickbay open and a series of voices. In typically awkward fashion, they'd all decided to turn up together. I walked out of Bones' office, closing the door behind me and leaning against the door frame. As I looked at them, I realised: we were still one short: the Captain wasn't there.

"Two questions: 1) did you have to all turn up together? And 2) did you have to be so much later than everyone else?" I asked in an airy voice.

Stef giggled and replied, "We went for some liquid courage first."

"Oh brilliant, I get to check six drunk crew members for a parasite." I rolled my eyes,

"Oh joy. Right, let me tick you off this list," I mumbled to myself as I found their names and once I'd checked the first list to say that they'd actually been checked I looked up and asked, "Okay, so who wants to go first?"

"Well, I though' the tradition wa' ladies firs'." slurred Scotty, obviously a lot more inebriated than the others.

I grinned at Stef and Uhura, "That'd be you first then Scotty,"

He tried to scowl and stand up, but he stumbled and almost collapsed onto Spock's knee. Luckily, his Vulcan reflexes managed to catch Scotty, who giggled. Spock looked at me sympathetically (if he can do that,) and helped me carry him over to the cubicle. With another half sympathetic look he left me to my job.

I told Scotty to strip down to his underwear, which he did, with only a few comments, and I started searching for any marks or bumps. It's not too hard, just embarrassing if your patient is sober, well it's embarrassing for them. I'm a Doctor, as I say to most patients: "I've seen it all before."

Scotty was clean and I left him to slowly get dressed. As I walked back out to the others, I called Stef's name and I did the same for her, apart from this goes a little quicker. Another one was clean. I checked her off the list and moved on to Uhura and then to Sulu.

It was only when I reached to Spock that my day became more difficult. As I was running my fingertips down his back, I found a small bump, just above his beltline. When I checked it with a scanner I found it was actually the parasite. I continued the check and I didn't find other bite anywhere else, which was better than some of the others. I told him to get dressed and as he was doing so, I put into the computer that he had been found to have the parasite and had been given the course of treatment. Once, he'd finished, I turned back to him and said, "You need to take these, one a day for the next two weeks and you should be fine, but you need to come back the day after you've taken the final tablet, so we can check that it's gone. After that, there'll be another, follow up check in about three weeks."

"Thank you Lieutenant." He then left, with the tiny box of tablets in his hand.

I walked back out and said, "Chekov my last patient, if you'd be so kind."

"Yes Doctor." He looked petrified. The most scared person I'd seen today, by far. I furrowed my brow at this and noticed some of the others have started to fall asleep. I clapped my hands loudly and said, "Right everyone out, I don't want you falling asleep in Sickbay, none of you are patients so get out."

"But… What about-"

"What about Chekov? Well he's a big boy and I'm sure you can talk to him later now shift, all of you."

They all left, Scotty, supported between Sulu and Spock, with Uhura and Stef walking behind. Stef turned back and said, "I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

I smiled, "Without a doubt, I'll see you in the cafeteria or I might even venture down to engineering and cure Scotty of the inevitable hangover he's going to have.

She and Uhura giggled.

"You might just have to," Stef said, leaving with a wave.

I walked over to the cubicle to find Chekov sitting on the bed still fully clothed. I smiled at him kindly and said, "You're the first guy today that hasn't been eager to get their clothes off for me. That's new."

He smiled shyly and started to get changed. I automatically, turned my back on him, to give him some privacy and started to fill in the details about the check.

Very quietly, I heard a voice mumble, "I'm ready."

I turned around and see that he's only taken his shirts off, but I didn't say anything. He was still only eighteen and probably very shy. I started to check his arms, back and chest and he shuddered slightly at the first touch but then went still as a board. I just shrugged it off and once I'd not found anything. I said, "I need to check your legs now."

A strange look crossed his face, a cross between fear, a blush and something else more worrying: shame. I tilted my head a little trying to see his face as he stared down at the floor.

"Chekov, what is it?" I asked, in a kind, quiet voice.

"Can you not?" he whispered back.

"Check your legs? No I have to, why what is it?"

"I just…I just…" he choked and started to cry. I put down, my tricorder and removed the rubber gloves I'd been wearing. I sat down on the bed next to him and pulled him into a hug, because I didn't know what else to do.

I figured that this must be what Phlox meant, when he said being a doctor on a Starship was harder than any other job apart from the Captain. This was the line, between friends and job displayed very clearly in front of me. I guessed I was just going to have to be both. I needed got to be, I couldn't see another way to do this.

He cried into my shoulder, and I just stroked his back and arm gently. There was something inside me that knew what to do. I think it was what my mum called "mother instinct". I just sat there patiently waiting for him to pull it together.

Once he stopped crying he sat up and whispered "I'm sorry, it's just I…"

By then I'd already caught up, I'd been thinking, "It's okay, I know what the problem is. Just let me do my job."

He looked relieved but I ruined that, "But, that means that whatever, I find will have to be followed up on. You might not like it, but it has to be done okay?"

"But, you won't…"

"Tell anyone, no I won't, it'll have to go into your medical record, but only Dr McCoy and I have access to those and as for everyone else, there is Doctor-patient confidentiality to remember. Okay?"

He just nodded as he stood up off the bed. I left him alone and got some new gloves. When I returned, he was sat waiting for me.

"Right stand up please,"

He did so; I started on his left leg, at his ankle and slowly worked my way up searching for bumps and marks, like I'd been doing all day. When I reached his inner thigh, just high up enough to be hidden, so that I had to push the leg of his boxers up to find them, I found a series of small cuts. Most were healing and scabbed but some were reasonably new. One looked to be slightly infected. I didn't say anything; I expected to something like them. I made a mental note and scanned them quickly with a tricorder.

I moved on to his other leg and found the same thing, but these were newer, probably only been done yesterday. Yet, I didn't find any sign of the parasite.

I stood up and faced him, "There's no parasite, but I need to bandage the cuts, some of them look to be infected and I'll need to give you a tetanus shot, just to make sure. You might not want to, but I'd also like to see you once a week. You don't have to come to Sickbay, just to talk and see if I can help you through this. Okay?"

He just nodded, "I'll also want to do a check on those cuts in a few weeks, okay? So what I'll do is make sure it's the day when everyone else is coming for the check after the course of treatment, so that we don't draw attention to you. I'll make a note so that you only get seen by me okay?"

He just nodded again and I asked a final question, "How are you sleeping?"

"Not vell."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since the Narada." I counted back the months in my head and worked out that it's been six months.

"All right, what I'm going to do is give you a sedative tonight, I want you to take this when you get back to your quarters. It'll help you sleep."

He smiled slightly and met my eyes, his are still a little red and puffy but at least he wasn't still crying. I grabbed some bandages and cream and cleaned the cuts gently, being careful not to pull any of the already healing ones apart. Once they were clean and bandaged, I left him to get dressed. I started to tidy up, once everything was cleared away I sat at the nurses station looking over some P.A.D.D's.

I heard the curtain get drawn back and he said, "Good night, doktor and thank you."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

About twenty minutes later, I was spinning around on my chair, bored out of my head with no one to talk to, the Captain walked in and looked around the deserted Sickbay. He didn't spot me so I said, "Everyone went to bed about two hours ago. I stayed up waiting for you, seeing as we've got no one else to check."

For the first time since I'd come aboard the Enterprise, he looked unsure. "Erm, right…isn't Bones around?"

I smiled, "That's why I was waiting. Bones is asleep and said I should wake him up when you finally got here."

I walked into Bones' office and over to his sleeping form on the couch,

"Bones. Bones!" I said shaking him,

"Wha'?" came the mumbled, half-asleep reply.

"The Captain's here."

"Who?" he asked

"Jim."

"Oh right, am up, am up." He muttered

I asked "You mind if I go get some breakfast? Leave you and _mon capitan_ in peace."

"It'd be much appreciated, he's going to complain like a small child even if you're not around, but this way at least you don't have to suffer him." He replied sitting up and running his face

I smiled and said "okay, I'll take a comm. with me just in case you need someone to hypo him in the neck with a sedative."

He laughed, "We'll be fine."

"Mmmh I'm sure you will be."

I left Bones' office and walked back over to the nurse's station to grab my comm. and as I left I called over my shoulder, "Have fun sir."

I swiftly walked out, leaving the Sickbay doors to close behind me.


	4. Talking and Eventual Shouting

**Chapter 4: Talking and Eventual Shouting**

I was sat in my office, feet up on the desk, drinking some coffee (because Jack said bourbon is only for off duty; although I figured she knew the coffee's Irish.) She was asleep on the couch; refusing to go back to her quarters because she said that I'd forget to page her when the interesting stuff starts. Every now and again she mumbled and twitched in her sleep; having a nightmare. I wasn't going to wake her up though; I'd only get it in the ear.

I turned my attention back to the list of names on my desk; names of the people who'll have to come back for checks tomorrow. There weren't many, thirty two out of four hundred and fifty seven, but every time I see the hobgoblin's name I grin a little.

BANG! "Ow, FUCK! SHIT!" I looked up from my desk to see Jack in a heap on the floor, looking grey, clammy and a little scared.

I got up and went over to her, "You all right?"

"Yeah, 'm fine Bones. Woke myself up and forgot where I was, 's all."

I frowned a little, "You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah 'm fine."

I looked over her closely. There were tears leaking from the corners of her eyes and they mingled with the small beads of sweat on her face. Shit, that must have been one hell of a nightmare, to shake her up like this.

She smiled slightly and said sadly, "Yeah, it was."

I frowned again and sat next to her on the floor leaning against the couch, "Did I say that out loud?"

"No you didn't." she replied

I couldn't help but ask, "How do you almost always know what I'm thinking?"

"Just do." She answered, shrugging.

"You ready for the checks tomorrow?"

"Better than I thought I'd be. When we first started out doing this I was afraid we'd end up with half the crew, but thirty-two isn't bad….Oh Shit! Bones I forgot to mention, one of the patients requested to only be seen by me and I forgot to tag their record."

"Which one?"

"Ensign Chekov, he's a little shy is all Bones."

"That's not all, is it though?" I stated, knowing something else was going on.

She sighed and started to pick at the carpet, "It seems I'm not the only mind reader here. When I did Chekov's check, he was clear of the parasite but I found some small cuts on the inside of both of his thighs. I've been having meeting's with him once a week and did a psych eval. From what I can gather, he blames himself for what happened to Amanda Grayson. He thinks he could have done something."

"Stupid kid." I mumbled

"Bones, he's still young. Don't be so mean." She retorted, giving me a look that said I should know better.

"Mmmh, well how's his psych profile? Do we need to relieve him from duty?"

"No his main concern now is to make sure that it doesn't happen again. He's cut up about it, but it doesn't affect his work in a bad sense. He just does it twice as well as he did before. _My_ main concern is that he doesn't sleep."

"You tried a hypo?"

"Course I have Bones, but I don't want him to depend on them. I want to make it so that he can go to sleep on his own, you know?"

"Yeah I know. There's not a lot I can do I guess. I'll just have to leave you to this one. Too many doctors can result in one massive meltdown, just be sure to ask for help if you need it all right?"

"I will Bones. Are you telling me that from experience?" she asked with a knowing look.

I didn't really want to reply to that, "Mmmh."

"Wow Bones, you're getting good with words."

"Shut it Jack."

"Yes sir."

"Holy shit, don't call me sir. It's scary. Stick to Bones kid."

"I'll try." She replied, turning to grin at me. "I'm going for a drink and a walk, you mind?"

"No, you look like shit, so I'd rather you went away, then staying and scaring the patients."

"Thanks for that Bones." She said scowling slightly. She picked herself up off the floor with a weird sort of grace and ease, I certainly don't have.

After she left I stayed where I was on the floor. I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was going on in her head. I didn't need another kid like Jim; I didn't need someone who thought they could handle whatever got thrown at them, when they really couldn't. I shook my head and sighed, then looked up as the door to Sickbay opens again and Jim walks in.

"Bones… why are you on the floor?" he asked with a Spock-like raised eyebrow.

I scowled and snapped, "I'm thinking and don't do that, it makes you look like the hob-goblin."

He frowned a little, "You know you shouldn't call him that, he's called Spock."

"I know," I said as he came to sit next to me, "I just don't want to call him that. As I recall after your first encounter with him he was a "pointy-eared bastard.""

"Bones, you know, it's amazing. You can't remember when it's your own birthday but you can remember what I called Spock last year… when I was on reprimand."

"You say that as if you didn't do anything," I replied looking at him expectantly, waiting for the inevitable defence.

"I didn't," there it is… "All I did was beat the unbeatable test, which was an unfair assessment of my ability, first, second or third time that I took it. Personally I think that if they wanted to assess my ability to command they should've sent me out into the field, where as I've proved, I'm far more effective."

I just laughed at him. He had the wounded puppy-dog look on his face, so I couldn't help but laugh. He scowled at me and sighed. I stopped laughing and frowned a little,

"Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"What was that?"

"What was what?" he asked looking confused.

"That tired sigh, you just made."

"It wasn't tired, it was bored. I want to get away from here. Into space, on our mission, I'm getting bored stuck in space-dock around Earth. We're on a space ship, we're meant to be exploring space."

I laughed again, "You're like a kid on the run up to Christmas, totally impatient. Well if it'll make you feel any better, we can leave tomorrow, as long as everyone's checks are clean."

"Really?" he looked at me, his bright blue eyes shinning like my daughters on the night before Christmas or her birthday.

"Really Jim, just be patient, let me and Jack do our jobs and we'll be off in no time."

He laughed suddenly, "You know when I first met you, you wouldn't have ever believed those words would have passed your lips."

"No I don't think they would've, but then again, Starfleet's changed everyone. You as well."

"Not that much…"

I laughed, "No not that much, but at least you think sometimes before you get into a fight."

"That's true Bones." He said, his eyes sparkling.

I laughed again, "I know Jim."

I put my head back against the couch and we sat in silence, until the sounds of laughter come through from the main ward, after the door to Sickbay opened and closed.

There was part of a muffled conversation and more laughter, only this time it was from more people. I looked at Jim and he raised an eyebrow, we both got up and walked into Sickbay to see the nurses stood with Jack and a girl from engineering, giggling at something hilarious… apparently. Jim grinned at me and winked, sauntering over to "charm" the ladies.

"Hello there, something funny?"

Most of the nurses swooned, except Amanda Croft, who pursed her lips. Jack and her friend, walked away from the Captain after the chorus of "Morning Captain," came from most of my nurses.

Jack met my eyes, and hers rolled around, making me laugh. "This is Bones, Bones this is Stef, heard of her… now you've met her."

The small, thin, Italian in front of me smiled and quietly said, "Hi,"

I laughed at her accent. It was a curious mixture of English, Italian and American. I couldn't help but laugh really. Jack's got an American accent with something, I have no idea what, throw in there. But Stef's was amusing.

"Bones, what the hell is so funny?" Jack asked, looking at me like I'm a mad man.

"It's the accent, Jack." Stef giggled too, obviously used to it. "Well either that or the spectacle behind us." She giggled again.

Jack smiled, "That spectacle" she said, "Is perhaps amusing, but maybe not so much, when it's the nurses, he's flirting with."

I smiled and replied, "Let him have his fun, he's a little stressed out. Admiral Archer and Admiral Pike are coming for our maiden voyage to the Vulcan colony. They're here to make a spectacle out of the Enterprise's "Maiden" voyage." I made the in-air quotation marks as I said maiden, but then everything and everyone in Sickbay went quiet when Jack shouted,

"WHAT?"

I looked to Stef, who just looked at me sympathetically, basically saying, "Stay away and don't ask."


	5. A, L, LC

**Chapter 5: Admirals, Lieutenants, Lieutenant Commanders? **

"What the fuck did you just say Bones?" I felt rather conspicuous, since the whole of Sickbay went quiet at my outburst and they were staring at me. In the same way I was staring at Bones. He could not, under any circumstances, have just said what I thought he'd just said. I thought he'd just said that Admiral Archer and Admiral Pike were coming aboard for our supply run to the Vulcan colony.

I could still felt everyone's eyes on me, but Bones didn't answer my question, instead he nodded towards the office. Once Stef, Bones and I were inside, he shut the door.

"Better question, what the hell was that?" he looked rather annoyed at me, although I didn't really know why.

"It was me freaking out a little bit now please, repeat what you said, because it sounded to me like you said Admirals Pike and Archer were coming aboard…"

"Jack, he did say that." I looked at Stef, and collapsed onto the couch with a groan. I was totally pissed off and more to the point a bit unsure. I was pissed off because I'd said he didn't need to keep tabs on me, I was even more pissed off that he didn't tell me that he was going to be coming aboard the Enterprise for a considerable amount of time. Worst of all though, I didn't know what to do, I knew I should have acted like he was a normal Starfleet officer, my superior, but damnit, he wasn't then and isn't now.

"Jack?" Stef sat down next to me, looking curious, "What is it?"

"I don't know what to do; I don't know how to feel. I'm confused, I guess…and, more to the point I'm pissed off" I sighed and looked over to Bones who was leaning on the edge of his desk.

He shrugged at me, "You going to explain it to me? Or would you rather I left?"

I started to chew on my lip, it's a habit I'd picked up in the last few years, since I started my proper Starfleet training, I'd started to get a little bit more confused and nervous since then. I figured it was being around all these other people. I thought about it carefully, I'd not even known Bones a month, although he was bound to find out at some point. I just wasn't ready for everything to happen so soon. Honestly, I didn't want anyone else to know either.

I told Stef, not long after the incident in the bar, mainly because she wouldn't stop asking how we'd got away with everything and how I'd managed to fix things so we got to share a room, half-way through the term.

"It's all right," I started keeping my voice quiet, "You can stay, but I'm not going to explain this in much detail, mainly because it doesn't need it. Don't question events, they just happened, why is not your concern. Okay Bones?"

He shrugged, "Sure, whatever you say Kiddo."

"Next thing I ask is that you don't tell anyone else. Damnit, life on this ship is going to be hard without this getting around the crew all right?"

"Deal Kiddo, so what was it about Pike's and Archer's visit that got you so… wound up?"

"Admiral Archer…is my step-father. He married my mother when I was eight after my parents got divorced. After I came back home when I was seventeen he was the one…he was the one who came and told me my mom was dead. I'm all he's got left of my mom, so he keeps me close I guess. After I left to come aboard, we said a very quick farewell and I said for him to not to have people keeping an eye on me, but it seems I can't get out of it can I? I think I would've appreciated some warning from him then, I mean this must've been planned right? From the start, so he didn't even tell me then."

"Who didn't tell you what?" the door to Bones' office opened in the middle of my last sentence, to reveal the Captain, looking rather annoyed and a tiny bit confused. You could tell by the way his hair's slightly messy, where he'd sighed and run his fingers through it, trying to work out what was going on.

I shook my head, firstly to answer his question and secondly to get the weirdo stalker thoughts out of my head. I needed to get a grip, if I was going to be working on this ship for the next however long.

"Lieutenant, if this concerns a member of my crew to such an extent that they make an outburst like you just have, I think I have the right to know."

Not for the first time, I wanted to get up and punch him. It had nothing to do with him, nothing at all. I was about to tell him this, when Bones said, "I told her that I wasn't going to be able to help out with most the checks tomorrow. I'm stuck in a conference over the Comm. System with some of Starfleet Medical. They want a detailed report about this parasite."

I could have kissed Bones. I could have actually kissed him. He had just saved me.

"Oh, all right Bones. Well just don't take forever, it's seems a little unfair to leave everything to the rest of the staff." It's evident the Captain didn't believe a word.

Bones just shrugged and replied, "I'll talk to you later Jim."

"All right Bones. I'll be on the bridge, for now." Bones nodded and the Captain then left.

I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at Bones, "Thank you, Thank you so much."

"Yeah well, you owe me one Kiddo. Even if he didn't believe a word of it"

I grinned, "Don't worry, it'll be fine and I'll repay the favour when I get the chance."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I'd not slept for two days, mainly because I'd not gotten tired enough yet. Bones was hiding in his office, pretending to be on a call with Starfleet medical, I think he was doing some paperwork or something though.

I sighed and spun around on my chair. The nurses were getting stuff ready and there was very little for me to do but sit there and wait around. I did try and help them but I worked out early on that I was just getting in their way. They're rather efficient, these nurses.

I'd got time to think about the nightmare I'd had yesterday before I woke myself up and fell onto the floor of Bones' office.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Riddick and Johns kick through the make shift door we put in when we crawled into the small space. Fry goes first with the cutting torch and opens the side door of the ship, opening up, exposing us to the creatures and the world outside. We huddle behind her, with Johns watching the back with the big gauge and Riddick off to one side to keep the light out of his eyes. We're walking slowly to a larger part of the wreckage. Fry looks across to Riddick, who goes to check, with Johns in tow._

"_Looks clear" Riddick says after about a minute. Johns move forward slightly more and points the light from the shotgun into the cabin. _

_There's a screech and one of the monsters flies out and we all automatically hit the floor. It flies over the top of us and away._

_Johns looks over to Riddick and growls, "You said clear."_

_Riddick reply's with a smirk in his voice, "I said it looks clear."_

_Johns glares a him but asks, "Well what's it look like now?"_

_Riddick looks up and says "Looks clear." You can hear the laughter in his voice. Does he not get scared?_

_Riddick and Johns go in first and we follow quickly, not wanting to be left in the open. There's a strange blue glow coming off the emergency fibre optic lighting. I move away quickly, away from everyone else. There's something wrong with me. I don't know what, but there is. Once I'm far enough away from them I turn away from them and try to pretend to look at the lights. I felt it a while back: a pain in my lower stomach like being stretched and stabbed at the same time. I carefully check to see whether what I think's happening is actually happening. _

_Oh shit! It is. Why now? Of all the times for this to start, why did it have to start now? I could have been anywhere, somewhere nice, where I don't fear for my life. Shit!_

_There's a bang as Fry lays a piece of metal in the middle of the room and Imam puts the first fuel cell on it. _

"_Jack" Fry shouts, "Start pulling those lights out." I nod and get to work. I look across to Paris, who is putting rags into the bottles of spirits and making sure they'll burn. _

_~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~_

_We've been pulling the lights out for a while and Riddick is walking around, watching and talking to Fry. He puts his hand out to protect his eyes as he gets closer to the light in the middle of the cabin. _

"_I'll be running about ten paces ahead. I want light on my back, but not in my eyes. And check your cuts, these bad boys know our blood now."_

_I look up at him as he says that and my heart falls into my stomach. If I tell them, they might leave me here. They might leave me for those creatures. I shake my head: I can't tell them. I look at the lighting tube in my hand and place the flat end against the palm of my hand and move it up to my fingers. I can see the light through my hand. All the blood vessels._

_Fry's stood at the door, with Imam, Paris, Suleiman and I move forward to listen. Paris looks out into the darkness and asks, "Are we actually going to do this?"_

_Fry looks over to him, but he doesn't look at her. "We stay together, we keep the light burning. That's all we gotta do to get through this thing." She turns and walks away to find Johns. Paris disappears off too with Suleiman following not long after. I move closer to the door, making sure I'm still in the light. Imam takes some of the fibre optic tubing and wraps it around me so that I'll always have some light on the journey. I'm shaking and as he's helping me, he can felt it._

"_It'll be all right, little one."_

_I look at him, but I can't think of anything else to say except, "I'm not little." I say this despite the fact I'm only eleven, I just felt so much older. _

_Imam laughs slightly, the only adult to do so, since the crash, "To me? Maybe not. But to Allah, everyone is small."_

"_God? You think he can save us?" I ask, really wanting to know._

"_He will save us or deliver us to him. Either way, we will live in this world or the next."_

_I nod and Imam rests his hand on my shoulder. There's a noise behind us as Fry and Johns come up to us. The lights are set up and we're ready to go._

_There's a look around between all of us and then we leave. Riddick walks in front with the rest of us surrounding the sled, which is carrying the four cells for the skiff. We're all wrapped in the lights pointing them into the surrounding darkness._

_I can hear them all around. I can hear them creeping and creaking, coming closer and closer. They're squealing and squeaking. I'm looking around wishing they don't come any closer. We've stopped because Riddick is scouting around. There's a small whine for Paris as the cutting torch dims. The creatures squealing has got louder, they've either got closer or know that the light is going out. I look back from the dark back toward Paris who makes an even louder whine. There's a "pop" as the cutting torch finally goes out._

_Imam looks to us at the back of the sled and says, "Stay close."_

_We start to move again, faster than before, more urgent. Paris goes for his flask of booze which is in a box on the sled. He knocks one of the couplings for the cells out of the box and into the darkness. We need that. We'll be stuck here if someone doesn't get it. _

"_Wait," I call to the others before I really think about what I'm doing I take the light tubing off me and go after the coupling into the dark._

_Fry shouts me back, "Jack!"_

_The creatures start squealing louder and louder. Then a pair of strong hands grabs my shoulders pushing me to the floor as one of the creatures swoops down upon us. Johns starts firing at them, shooting in whatever the direction the squeals and screeches come from._

"_JACK!" Fry screams again. In the confusion Johns turn to her and points the gun at her head, mistaking her scream for one of the creatures. She drops to her knees quickly and crawls over to where we are._

_To our left Paris is panicking, crying out, so loud it can be heard over Johns' continual shots. Paris is on his knees too, crawling away from the rig, saying over and over again, "This can't be happening, this can't be happening,"_

_Fry shouts, "Paris, get back here!" as the lights that are still wrapped around him start to pull on the rig, _

_He's still crawling and getting further and further away until he crawls too far and pulls one of the circuits and knocks everything in the rig over. The lights start to dim, but he's still crawling,_

_A voice comes from my right, soft and calm, "Are you all right?"_

_I look at Imam, into his kind trusting eyes, and nod as the lights go out completely._

_Paris is still whispering, "This can't be happening! This can't be happening! This can't be happening!" then he stops realising what's happened. There's a thud and hissing and as my eyes adjust slightly I can see him as he lights his lighter, on his knees looking at his blood-covered hand intently. _

_He looks up slightly and says, "I was supposed to die in France. I never even saw France." He takes his hipflask from his pocket and takes a drink, then spits the alcohol onto the lit lighter, creating a small flame-thrower for a second. He's surrounded. There's screeching, hissing and that sick squelching again, but no more sound comes from Paris himself. Just the noises the creatures make. _

_I turn away and take Fry's outstretched hand so she can lead me back to the sled. There' she searches around until she finds a flare and lights it. It's green glow all around. It's as this happens that a realisation dawns: Paris is dead because of me…._

_I'm shaken from this thought as John and Imam light flares off the one Fry lit. Johns turns and looks at the obviously non-caring Riddick and says "Well, it's good to se your okay."_

_Riddick looks past him to the last place we saw Paris. Now there's even worse sounds breaking bones and wailing from the creatures. _

_Fry stands behind him and asks, "Do I even wanna know?"_

_Riddick doesn't answer, I've moved to Fry's right staring to the same place they are. There's more even louder wailing, as if they're very close to us and suddenly, just for a moment I can sense Riddick's eyes on me, watching me intently. _

_Fry turns away and walks back to the sled and Imam comes and asks, "How old are you?"_

_I look up to meet his eyes and shrug, "Eleven,"_

"_You are very young," he says, as if it's supposed to mean something_

_I shrug and walk away to Fry who hands me a lit bottle of Paris' spirits and then lights another bottle, which she takes herself. _

_~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~_

_We've been walking a while and we don't seem to be getting anywhere, I'm at the back of the rig with Fry. We've not said anything, we don't need to. But I want to know, I need to know, "Are we getting close?"_

_Fry shouts to Riddick and Johns at the front, "Can we pick up the pace?"_

_Instead of speeding up, we slow down. Suleiman says something to Imam in Arabic, who in turn shines his light onto the floor. Johns takes the straps of the rig off his shoulder and throws them on the ground. He walks up behind Riddick who's stopped and is peering into the dark. _

"_You wanna tell me what the hell's going on?_

_Fr turns to me and says, "We crossed our own tracks."_

_I'm about to ask why, when Imam gets there before me, "Why have we circled? Are we lost?" He's stood to Riddick's right and is staring at him, with his eyes wide._

_Riddick doesn't turn to look at him, he just reply's "Listen."_

"_Do you even know where we are?" Imam's getting angry now, shouting at Riddick, the first time he's shouted at anyone._

"_LISTEN!" we all go quiet and we can now all hear what Riddick always could. It's the hissing and squealing of he creatures but it's echoing, circling around. Johns pull the shotgun to his shoulder and searches around in the darkness. It's seems a little pointless to me, since they seem to be very far away._

"_Canyon's ahead. I circled once to buy some time to think." Everyone turns back to Riddick, as if he's mad. He prolonged our time in the dark… to think? If it was anyone but Riddick, I don't think I'd believe that it was so he could think about saving all of us. I'm starting to shake now, not just from fear, the pain in my stomach's back and my legs are starting to felt shaky. _

_Johns has lowered the shot gun as he realises there's nothing for him to shoot. Imam's voice has gone dangerously deep when he says, "I think we should go now."_

_Riddick tilts his head slightly and reply's with a smirk in his voice, "Oh I don't know about that. That's death row up there. Especially with the girl bleeding."_

_Fry and I turn to look at him. Johns looks to Fry and back to Riddick. All I can think is no, no he couldn't. How could he?_

"_What?" Imam looks at him, everyone is now looking at Fry, he does know. He has to know, but how?_

"_What the fuck you talking about? She's not cut." Johns looks between Riddick and Fry, _

"_Not her," Riddick turns and looks straight at me through the darkness, "her."_

_They all know now. Every remaining member of the group turns around and stares at me in total disbelief. _

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I was pulled from my thoughts when Nurse Chapel, says, "Doctor?"

I looked up and nodded for her to continue, "There's a message from Starfleet for you. The bridge said they'd send it to Dr McCoy's office."

"Oh, all right, thanks Chrissie." Due to regulations the nurses had to call me and Bones "Doctor", but there was no regulation to state what we're supposed to call the nurses, so I agreed to call them by their first names or nicknames or whatever…if there's no one around. When we're working it'll be back to Nurse Chapel or Nurse Croft. That way there's no way anyone could decide to make up a regulation.

I wandered through to Bones' office and accepted the transmission at my small desk. I was expecting Doctor Phlox or one of the other senior members of Starfleet medical, who had been contacting us in the last few days. However, I was a little shocked when Admiral Pike appeared on the screen in front of me.

"Admiral!" the shocked exclamation fell out of my mouth before I could stop it, causing Bones to look up from his paperwork and lean back on his chair, blatantly eavesdropping.

"Lieutenant Karev, there's no need to sound so shocked." The Admiral reprimanded gently.

"I'm sorry sir; I was expecting a member of Starfleet Medical, that's all, not a member of the command staff"

He laughed, "Well I don't think a member of Starfleet Medical has the power to tell you you've been promoted."

What? I frowned, "I'm sorry sir, did you just say I'd been promoted?"

"Yes I did lieutenant, as a Doctor on a Starship you are entitled to the rank of Lieutenant Commander. "

I just stared at the screen. Me a Lieutenant Commander? How? Why? What's the point? They were obviously making a point. It had to be Jon's idea, it had to be. It was his way of saying: act your age, without actually saying it.

I sighed, "Admiral, I…" how was I to put it, "Admiral I don't want or need the promotion I've been offered."

He looked at me carefully, "Lieutenant, this isn't an offer; it's more of an order. Your new uniform and rank will be presented by Captain Kirk when Admiral Archer and I come aboard for the voyage to the Vulcan colony."

"Yes sir," I had no choice in the matter.

"Until that time, you will have the provisional rank of Lieutenant Commander and should be called thus. Is this understood?"

"Yes sir,"

"I will see you then, _Lieutenant Commander_."

"I'll look forward to it, Admiral." The screen went black and I sat back in my chair thinking: Holy shit!

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I'd just finished a message with my father. He'd been allowed to tell me that I was getting promoted to Lieutenant. I was going to be a Lieutenant like Jack. I loved the fact everyone had to call me Lieutenant. Even if it was only provisional at the time.

I walked through the doors to Sickbay and saw a few people waiting around, and then I remembered, the checks were today. I considered turning around and coming back later, when Jack's voice came from across the room, "Stef, what're you doing here?"

"I came to tell you some good news. I'm getting promoted to Lieutenant." I gushed, feeling about seventeen.

"Oh my god, seriously! That's amazing," she ruffled my hair and said, "They took their sweet time about it."

"Yeah, dad said it was me or some other person, but they decided on me, without any input from him, so yeah."

"That's awesome; if I wasn't working I'd say we should celebrate,"

"So you've told her then?" I turned around to see Dr McCoy stood behind us. I frowned a little, "Told me what?"

She sighed, "I didn't want to ruin it for you, so I wasn't going to tell you today, but I'm getting promoted too. I'll be a Lieutenant Commander."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously. I don't want the stupid thing, but apparently as a Doctor I have to be. Although I don't understand why. It' seems a little pointless to me, just an excuse to hand out some gold braiding."

I laughed, loving Jack's way with words. I shrugged and said, "Well I'm not complaining."

She laughed too, "No I don't think you should, you deserve this promotion, it's me that doesn't."

I giggled as my comm. beeped. "Commander Scott to Lieutenant Tyler."

I smiled with pride and Jack grinned back at me, waving as she's ushered back to work by a disgruntled looking Dr McCoy. "Yes sir? What is it?"

"We need some help with the systems on the bridge and you're the closest so if you wouldnae mind, I'd like you up here a.s.a.p."

"All right sir, I'll be there as soon as I can." I waved to Jack who nodded before going to check another member of the crew. If everything went to plan we'd be out of Space dock soon.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I walked out from checking a member of the science team, I saw Chekov walk in and look around. Before I could signal to him, Bones had walked over and started to talk to him. Chekov looked a little scared at first but as Bones continued to speak to him he relaxed a little and nodded to whatever Bones had said to him. They walked into Bones' office and the door closed. I signalled for the second to last crewmember listed, only Spock after her, to go into a cubicle and wait for me.

I then wandered nonchalantly over to Bones' office and opened the door, "You need to sign off on some of these, I can't do it, I'm not CMO."

I smiled at Chekov as I hand the P.A. to Bones, but he stood up before I could and said, "Jack he's your patient, I just didn't want to leave him out there because I didn't know how long you'd be."

"Oh all right thanks Bones," I replied, "There's a patient in cubicle two, and after her we're only waiting on Commander Spock and we're finished."

"All right, thanks kid."

With that he left me with Chekov. I sat down on the couch and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, wery, wery tired. I'm sleeping better, but not ewery night and not for a whole night."

I smiled at him kindly because he looked downtrodden, "Don't look like that, you're sleeping on your own, that's an improvement. This was never going to happen overnight and the little steps with come and eventually you'll be all right."

"You seem so sure…"

"Chekov, I'm not sure how long it'll take, or what you might have to face along the way, but I am sure with my help and Dr McCoy's input when needed, you'll be all right." I paused carefully, "How are your legs?"

"Sore." He replied, shrugging.

I nodded, "All right come outside and let me take a look and we'll have a chat all right?"

We walked outside to a cubicle and I closed the curtains around us so I could check his legs without an audience.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

She was very kind and gentle as she checked the cuts on my legs: careful not to hurt me or open them up again. I didn't know why, or what she'd done but I wasn't just sleeping better but over the last few weeks I'd started to felt better. It had stopped feeling like there was a huge a weight on my shoulders; I'd stopped seeing Commander Spock's broken and sad face when I closed my eyes. I just felt a bit better.

"Doctor Karev," I called her that despite her constantly asking me to call her Jack. I didn't feel as if I should. After all I was only an Ensign. I knew Sulu and Uhura did, but they were Lieutenants too. I knew Scotty and Dr McCoy did as well, but they're her superior officers, I couldn't it would have felt wrong.

"You're mumbling to yourself again." I finished.

She looked up from the P.A.D.D she was writing on and smiled, "Sorry, I don't mean to, you're all right now, you can get dressed again. There's no infection and they've not opened up at all. I still don't want you doing anything too strenuous but you can go back to training, _if_ you take it easy. They're in a very awkward place so they'll tear if put under too much strain."

"Okay, I'll try and be careful." I say pulling my trousers back up.

"So what do you want to talk about?" she asked as I sat back down on the bed.

"Anything?"

She smiled at me again, "Anything you like,"

"Vell, I… I don't know…"

"What about your family? Your childhood? Anything, I don't mind."

I shrugged, "I vas born in Stalin Petersburg, Russia and I have five older sisters. The older four are married with children and the youngest is engaged."

"What are they called?" she questioned, smiling slightly.

"Nadia is the oldest and she's thirty fiwe, Elena is thirty one, Anastasia is tventy eight, but we all call her Ana for short, Mariya is tventy fiwe and Natalia is tventy. I'm probably closest to Natalia." I paused and then asked, "Vhat about you?"

Suddenly a sad look that marred her features and I wished I'd not asked, "I'm sorry I didn't…-"

She held up her hand, "It's all right; I just haven't seen my brother in a long, long time. He'd be about your age now, maybe older, nineteen, nearly twenty, he's called Nathan."

I nodded but didn't ask her anything else about him; I could see it was hard enough telling me that. I continued, "I have six nephews and three nieces…"

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Chekov and I had been chatting for around twenty five minutes when the door to Sickbay opened and I heard Bones say, in his most sarcastic voice "Commander, thank you for gracing us with your presence… finally"

I looked at Chekov and grinned slightly. I said, "We should probably get you back to the bridge, we've talked enough for now."

"All right, thank you Doctor,"

I asked, "Are you ever going to call me Jack?" he shook his head and I laughed a little, "It's probably for the best since I'm now a Lieutenant Commander, the Captain would have a heart attack if you did that."

He smiled, "When did you get promoted?"

I looked at my watch carefully, "About five hours ago."

We left the cubicle and he started to leave for the bridge but I called out, "Wait a minute; I want to come with you."

I walked to the closed curtain where Bones was checking on Spock and said, "I'm off for a walk to the bridge with Chekov, send me a message if he's clean and I'll make everyone's day."

Bones poked his head around the curtain and said, "Sure, any problems?"

I shook my heard and answered, "He seems all right we've still got a long way to go, but there's nothing to say we're going backwards."

"Good, now I have to get back to work." He rolled his eyes in a sarcastic manner and I smiled, leaving him to check Spock on his own.

I closed Chekov's records, after saving my new notes and placed the P.A.D.D on the nurses' station after locking the records. I walked over to him and said, "I need to stretch my legs, somewhere other than here."

He nodded and led the way to the bridge.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Just before we made it to the bridge my comm. beeped with a text message from Bones: Spock was clean. I smiled slightly, and once Chekov was settled on the bridge I walked up to the Captain and asked, "Would you mind if I made an announcement, Captain?"

"Just as long as it's good news, Lieutenant Commander,"

I winced at being called Lieutenant Commander but I stood up straight and said, "Bridge crew Alpha, it is a pleasure to inform you that all the checks were finished and everyone has had the all clear. We can leave Space-dock once everyone else is ready."

There was a cheer and a round of applause from the bridge crew and I grinned, "Captain, I'll leave you to tell the rest of the ship."

I nodded to him and waved to a few of the others and left, feeling rather good after that…only then did I remember why I'd started out in a foul mood.


	6. Who Knew?

**Chapter 6: Who knew?**

"But why?" she was looking at me with the puppy-dog eyes and a voice like a whiney five-year-old.

"Jack, I don't know, but we have to." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"I hate my dress uniform, it's all shiny and pointless and I look ridiculous." She moaned, throwing herself down on her bed in a strop. I rolled my eyes again and sat on the chair in front of her desk. Jack's quarters were bigger than mine. Not much, but they were. She had enough room for a desk, chair and chest of drawers, as well as a small bathroom, with a shower. I was rather envious, since Jack spent about eight hours a week in here.

We'd been told that we have to be in our dress uniforms when the Admirals arrived for the trip to the Vulcan colony, something Jack is already pissed about. At least it wasn't just us, it was everyone.

I agreed with Jack, shiny, dresses are not a good look for anyone, and shiny mesh dresses are even worse. At least Jack gets to wear her jeans under hers… even I'd have admitted the scar she's got on her leg is pretty nasty. She's got some on her arms as well, which is why she would never wear anything with short sleeves either. Unless she's knee deep in blood.

"It's stupid though…"

"I know Jack, I know."

She sat up and looked at me carefully, "I'm sorry; I'm being a whiney pest again, aren't I?"

I giggled, "Just a little, but it's legitimate I guess. I knew my dad was coming in the Admiral's entourage. You didn't even know they were coming."

"Mmmh, I know, but still, don't give me the right to complain so much does it _Lieutenant_?"

She stressed it to remind me that in three days I was going to actually be one. I grinned again and replied, "No, Commander"

She visibly winced, and I continued, "It doesn't, but for sure, we're both complaining about the stupid uniforms."

She lay back down again and replied, "I guess we are."

She closed her eyes and looked totally relaxed, a lot younger than her twenty-six years. She looked younger than me when she slept, younger than twenty four. I asked carefully, "Are you going to sleep?"

"Mmmh, I've been on shift for a while and, you know me, I've always worked until I'm on the edge of dying." She mumbled in reply.

"Do you mind if I use your terminal to do some work? I hate using the ones in the Rec rooms, there's always someone looking over your shoulder." I felt a bit cheeky asking but I did anyway.

"Go a head Stef, just don't touch any of my stuff, or loose my research, I still need to write that up." She murmured.

"I'm an engineer; I don't loose anything but my own tools."

She smiled slightly and shifted slightly to sleep. I knew she'd wake up in a few hours, after mumbling, tossing and turning, with nightmares, but I was used to it. We had shared a room for four years and I knew some of what they're about. There were certain things she hadn't told me, things she hadn't told anyone, but I trusted her enough to tell me eventually.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_The looks on everyone's faces is total disbelief. All expect Riddick. John's is looking at me with contempt now, "You gotta be kidding me?"_

_I'm panicking; I'm scared and worst of all I don't know what to do. There's fear in my voice and I'm trembling, terrified of what the consequences of this revelation are going to be. I start to babble, "I just thought it'd be better if people took me for a guy. I thought they might leave me alone, instead of always messing with me." I crouch down, sitting on my heels and hug my knees._

_As I was speaking Fry, shouted, "Jesus Jack! Why didn't you tell me?" but as she listened and watched me fall to the floor, her voice and demeanour softened and she put her arm around me, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry sweetheart, are you really bleeding?"_

_I nod slightly and say, "You could've left me at the ship, that's exactly why I didn't say anything sooner." There are a few tears that fall out of my eyes, ones that I couldn't hold back._

_Riddick, about 10 feet away and I hear him say to Imam, "They've had a nose-open for her ever since we left. In case you haven't noticed, they go off blood."_

_I'm starting to feel worse now, P__aris dying, that was my fault. They were following my scent. That was me…_

_Fry stands up to face the others, "Look, this is not going to work. We're gonna have to go back."_

_Johns turns around and looks at Fry in total disbelief, "What'd you say?" he points his finger at Fry and raises his voice, jabbing towards her as he speaks, "You're the one that got us out here in the first place and turned us into sled dogs."_

_Fry doesn't meet his eyes, but says in a strong voice, "I was wrong, I admit it. Okay? Can we just get back to the ship?"_

_Johns turns on her completely now, and there's something…unnatural about his eyes, there's too wide, too bright, "I don't know Carolyn? Nice breeze, wide open space. I'm starting to enjoy my-fucking-self out here._

_I stand up to watch them fight, feeling vulnerable on the floor. Like I'm back to being a little kid again, watching my parents fight from the top of the stairs. I look back to Fry who has a look of utter disgust on her face, "What, are you high again? Just listen to yourself."_

_Johns shakes his head a little and walks closer to Fry, squaring up to her. He doesn't think about what he's saying, if he did that he might realise how insane he sounds, "No, no you're right Carolyn, what's to be afraid of? My life's just a steaming pile of shit anyhow, so I say, mush on." He's getting closer too her, she's not as tall as he is, but not that much shorter. Her blonde hair's a mess and mucky, covered in dust from this stupid planet, there's still something…unnatural about his eyes though, "The canyon's just a couple hundred metres, and after that it's skiff city. So why don't you butch up, stuff a cork in this fucking kid and let's go."_

_I have to really try to hold back the tears now. It's not my fault that I'm bleeding. It's just the way things are. This happening when I'm eleven wasn't ideal, let a lone it starting on a planet where, there's people-eating monsters that've already eaten five of the eleven survivors._

_Imam is really angry at Johns, he obviously didn't like what was said because he shouts his words, spitting them at Johns, and he also moves to Fry's side, as if to back her up, "She is the Captain. We should listen to her." He says it with such defiance. Such certainty…_

"_Listen to her?" there's laughter in Johns' voice, "When she was so willing to sacrifice us all?_

_What? I ask quietly, fear evident in my voice, "Fry, what's he talking about?"_

_She ignores me and keeps staring at Johns, "This doesn't help us."_

_Johns ignores everyone and keeps going, "During the crash she tried to blow the passenger cabin, tried to kill us in our sleep."_

_I stare at Fry, I can't believe she'd do that. To us, but I don't have time to think about it too deeply. She shouts at Johns, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"_

_Johns fully squares up to her, his eyes wide and angry, Fry is breathing heavy as Johns shouts back, "We're just fucking disposable. We're just walking ghosts to you."_

_No has time to think this time. Fry lunges at Johns and screams at him, "SHUT YOU'RE FUCKING BLOWHOLE!"_

_Johns catches her arm and throws her to the ground where she just lays. Doing nothing. I think Johns is going to move towards her to finish, whatever it is he's started now when Imam shouts, "Fine, FINE! You've made your point. We'll all be scared."_

_I am scared, scared of the monsters, scared of what's going to happen, mostly though, I'm scared of Johns. I move away from him, practically running towards Suleiman, just so I can get away from Johns. He's turned his attention back to Fry, staring at her pathetic form on the ground asking sarcastically, "Well Carolyn, how much do you weigh now?"_

_He turns back to Imam, his eyes still wide and filled with anger and that strangeness I noticed awhile ago. I know what it is now. It's the drugs. I shake my head a little as Johns lights another flare and says, "The verdicts in, the light moves forward."_

_This is all my fault. If I'd stayed at the ship and not come with them, they might all be all right. I look over to Imam and Fry. Imam has offered her a hand, he doesn't seem to be worried about the fact she tried to kill us all. I think he may have known something like that'd happened. He just didn't let on to anyone. He's a smart guy. _

_I look back to Suleiman, who just shrugs and goes to help Imam with the sled. I walk back to Fry, picking up two of the lit bottles on the way; I offer one to her and smile, carefully. She tries to smile back but can't. You'd think I'd care more about the fact she tried to kill us all, but I don't. So far, now we're here, all she's done is try and help us, protect us and save us. No I don't mind. We start walking again and I look up enough to see Johns a way ahead, silhouetted against the sickly green light of his flare. Riddick walks over to him protecting his eyes with his hand. Something's going on; I just wish I knew what…._

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Something isn't right. We're maybe 25 feet behind Riddick and Johns. Close enough to see them and get caught in the green light of Johns' flare, but not close enough to hear what they're saying to each other. "What are they doing up there?" I ask, although with Johns _and _Riddick involved, I'm not sure I want to know the answer._

_Imam answers, trying to be reassuring, but not believing a word of his answer, "They're talking about the canyon I suppose, how to get us through."_

_So far Imam's words have been comforting, gentle, reassuring, but now. They're not, now they just make me more worried. More suspicious about Riddick and Johns and what they're planning next, because if it was a reasonable thing, they wouldn't be so far ahead. _

_We've closed the gap a little. I'm not sure whether we've speeded up or they've slowed down. I don't think it matters. But we're close enough to hear snippets of the conversation and it doesn't sound promising._

"_Sacrifice play…start of the canyon…bucket of bait." Is what I catch from Riddick._

"_Trawl….cable…drag …body…behind us." Johns replies._

_I'm frightened. That doesn't sound promising. It sounds like murder to me. I'm about to mention they're conversation when Riddick looks back. He looks over Fry quickly and his eyes land on me, our eyes meet through the darkness and for a moment I can completely sense something's wrong, it's as if he's trying to warn me. Telling me to run away as fast as I can. Then Johns grabs his arm and Riddick turns away quickly. But he got his message across, something is very fucking wrong._

_Fry's also caught on now. Maybe Riddick got the message to her too, I don't know but she turns to Imam, "Al Imam, slow down." There's a very worried tone in her voice, but it's still careful and measured, "Just a little more space between us and them."_

_That's a relief, because from what I heard, space is one thing we're going to need if their plan happens. I can still hear them talking a little, I'm catching less and less words, because my hands are sweating and I'm loosing my grip on the bottle in my hand. I have to switch hands so I can wipe the other on my cargo trousers. _

"…_.Enough… shit…girl…..others off ….back…" Johns has started speaking again. This is the last bit of speech I hear from either of them. I don't even understand it. They're talking about me or Fry but I'm not sure I want to know which one of us…or why._

_There's a noise from one of the creatures from behind me and I turn. They're making more noise now. Louder and closer. There's another sound, echoing across this desert. There's a clicking sound and shots, cries from the creatures. _

"_Leave the sled. LET'S MOVE! LET'S MOVE!" we drop the cables and Fry takes my hand leading me away from Riddick and Johns. There are more shouts. _

_Shouts, groans, ripping and clicking, fading the further and further away we move. _

_Riddick shouts something there's mumbling. There's squealing and screeching from the creatures. A Thud. A shot. Clicking. Another thud. Another shot. _

_Then only sounds of the creatures, until a final crunch rips through the silence. _

_We're still running though. But that sickening crunch makes us stop and turn. There's just wailing from the creatures now, there's a hiss and squeal from behind us and we turn quickly and Fry screams in shock when we see Riddick stood there. _

"_Back to the ship huh? Just huddle together, until the lights burn out." Riddick's getting closer to us as he talks,_

_Fry holds out her lit bottle menacingly, "Get away from us."_

_It doesn't make a difference; Riddick just looks at her and continues, "'til you can't see what's eating you. That the big plan?"_

_Imam looks him up and down, "Where's Johns?" I sometimes wonder whether Imam is actually frightened of Riddick like I am. Actually no, I'm not frightened of him, Johns I am. I don't like him, but Riddick: I don't know, I just can't be frightened of him._

_Riddick tilts his head and has an amused smirk on his face, "Which half?"_

_Oh my god, he's dead. The creatures got him, they got Johns. I might not like him but still…I turn away from them and stare into the darkness, where…somewhere, Johns is being eaten by those monsters… "We're gonna lose everybody out here. We should've stayed at the ship."_

_Riddick moves closer to me, so he can speak to me softly, "He died fast. If we have any choice, about it, that's the way we should all go out."_

_I'm so scared; we're all going to die out here. I'm so god-damned scared. I'm starting to cry, small tears falling down my face, Riddick leans in closer and says, contempt clear in his voice, "Don't you cry for Johns. Don't you dare."_

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

My eyes shot open and immediately stung as sweat dripped into them. I sat up slowly and a movement next to me made me jump and reach for something that wasn't there. I'd woken Stef up, she'd fallen asleep at the terminal and whether I'd done it earlier on or just now, I'd woken her up.

"You were mumbling again." She mumbled

I met her eyes and grinned, despite feeling very shaky, "I'm not surprised."

"You were talking about those people again." She sat up and looked at me seriously.

"Which people?" I knew who she meant, of course I did. She was my roommate for four years; she'd been woken up by my nightmares enough times to know some of the names.

"Fry, Johns, Carolyn, Imam." She said gently.

"Carolyn and Fry are the same person." I replied in a sarcastic tone.

"Jack, not the time." She retorted, quickly

I smiled sadly and whispered, "I know, I know…" I sighed, "I'm sorry I woke you up."

She shook her head and smiled slightly, "It's all right. I needed to get up anyway. If I'd have laid here any longer I'd have ended up having to walk like Quasimodo for the next few days."

I laughed and she got up, switching the terminal off, instead of leaving it on standby like I did. "I'm going to my quarters; you should try and get some more rest…"

She walked to the door, turning just before she opened it, "I'm here Jack, you know that right?"

I nodded, "Yeah 'course I do. This is just…well… it's just… I just need some time, that's all."

"All right Jack, you know where I am." She left without another word and it gave me chance to think a little.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Later on Riddick told me every word of his and Johns' conversation on that planet. Johns tried to persuade him to kill me and use me for bait. If Johns had had his way I would've been cut up into pieces and dragged 40 feet behind the sled as a sacrifice to the creatures.

I didn't understand until later why Riddick decided to spare me and kill Johns. It wasn't until later that I realised it was because I was just a kid. Later on I noticed Riddick had a liking of children, he'd never hurt them. Ever. It was like a rule; he'd always try and save them if he could. I'd seen him do it more than once.

They're the only people he'll risk his own life for; save one other person.

I could never understand why he always went back for them. Why he went out of his way to protect me. Especially when that kid can be very ungrateful…

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I turned around to look through the window of my office, when I heard Sickbay's doors open. I tried not to smirk when I saw Jack wearing her dress uniform. Whoever thought that making Starfleet uniforms shiny was an idiot. Although I had to admit that the science and medical blue Jack and I had to wear was the least offensive. The engineers and security look ridiculous in red and the gold ones for the command teams? Well they're just horrible.

Jim came and complained to me about it the night before, saying something about how he looked more like a ballerina than a Starship Captain. I told him to get a grip and shut up, because we all had to wear them. Plus, it's only for the first week. Jack was about as impressed by this as Jim was.

I got up out of my chair and walked into Sickbay, over to the nurses and Jack, who'd huddled together to bitch about the uniforms. I'd changed into mine in my office so this was the first time any of them had seen my in mine, and as Jack turned and looked at me, all I could see was laughter creeping into her eyes.

She chuckled a little and that was it, all of the nurses broke out into giggles. I scowled but before I could say anything Jack said, "Oh come off it Bones," she stepped out so I could see her properly, "These look shit on everybody."

For someone whose step-father was coming aboard with Admiral Pike and Commanders Reed and Tyler, she didn't look much different than she usually did. Her straight hair was pulled back a little by a blue band, there was another hair tie hidden underneath the sleeves of her uniform and she was only wearing mascara. Hell, the only thing that was any different was the fact her blue dress is shiny. She was even wearing her black jeans.

I shook my head and started to say something, only for the door, to Sickbay, to open. Jim walked in, in his uniform, it was going well, but I could see out of the corner of my eyes that the nurses and Jack exchanged a look and all turned away quickly to hide their laughter. It was not a flattering look for Jim. Shiny gold made him look like… well a ballerina.

"You see now, yours look all right, hell even Scotty's shiny red looks all right, and Sulu and Chekov can somehow pull this off. Me I look like I'm about to go out on stage."

"Jim it's not _that _bad." I tried to placate him.

"Bones you're my best friend, you have to say that. Girls what do you think?" The nurses still had their back to him and when they turned around some of them were trying really hard not to laugh. Jack managed to keep a straight face, that talent came with Doctor training, and so were nurses Chapel and Croft.

"Well Captain, I think," I caught Jack's eye as a warning to be careful about what she said, "I think that it doesn't look that bad. These uniforms weren't meant to be flattering…_obviously_; you're not the worst looking person I've seen today. Some of the security guys look ridiculous and even Stef will admit, shiny red mesh dress, was probably Starfleet's worst idea."

"I'll agree with that." Uhura, Scotty, Stef, Chekov, Sulu and….OH MY GOD!

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

All he had to do was walk into the room. Shiny blue shirt wearing Vulcan? Too far. I met Stef's eyes and that was it. Me, the nurses, Stef and even Bones, laughed. I thought the Captain looked bad, but Spock looked fucking ridiculous.

Spock met my eyes and said in a monotone, "I will admit, this is not a good look." Now everybody laughed, even the Captain.

At least I wasn't the only one who thought the look was ridiculous.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Captain, Starfleet reports that the admirals are on their way." Uhura said, spinning around on her chair to face the Captain.

We're all on the bridge. Everyone was in their proper places, except Bones and me. He was sat on the edge of the platform that the Captain's chair sits on and I was sat to the side, leaning against the bottom of one of the star charts.

"Acknowledge Uhura and keep listening for when they ask to land."

"Yes Captain." She spun around again and went back to work.

She was about the only person who was though. Everyone else was sat there, trying to look good, so that when the admirals arrived it looks like they'd been doing something. The nurses were doing the final clean ups of Sickbay. Bones and I left it to them because we didn't have a clue where some of the equipment went.

Everyone was trying to look busy. Well, Bones and I being the exception. He wasn't even supposed to be on shift right now and me, well I just don't care.

"Keptin, ze shuttle is in sight."

"Thank you Chekov, on screen." The Captain made a half-arsed gesture with his hand.

There on the screen was a shuttle: nothing fancy, just average. Filled with people whose main job was to christen the ship and embark on her "maiden" voyage. By this point I wasn't quite as pissed off as I was. Last night I realised this could be the last time I see Jon for five years. We might not have been close, but he's still my stepfather. He still meant something. It was a better way to say goodbye.

When I was lying awake last night, something happened. I didn't know what. I was thinking about being a kid, about my mum, about my dad, about Jon, about everything that happened. I stopped blaming Jon. After replaying events in my head I realised: it wasn't his fault. Things were crumbling around us and he was the power cell that broke the transport's floor. It was always going to happen. The only downside was that it'd taken me nearly twenty years and a hell of a lot of shit to finally work that out.

If someone had said to me that ten years after my dad walked out, I'd wonder back to Earth and find nothing but Jon left, I wouldn't have believed them. If they'd have said it to me when I was fifteen, I'd have probably killed them.

Later I'd have believed every word. He was all I had left. He'd done so much for me. He helped me get into Starfleet, helped me with my classes, and helped me catch up. He gave me a home to go to, somewhere to run to. He'd even helped me search for people, using his Starfleet resources to try and help me find them.

Hell, he'd done so much for me and I never even gave him a chance. I should've, for my mum, if for no one else. She loved him, and he loved her. He's still had her picture on his desk. Ever after nine years, there'd never been anyone but my mum. I should've given him a chance.

Thinking about it, made me realise, if someone had said to me at sixteen, in ten years, you will be sat on the bridge of the Federation Starship Enterprise, knowing that in a few hours I was going to be telling Jonathan Archer, I wanted a second chance… I'd have punched them. But then again, back then, what did I know?


	7. Second Chances

**Chapter 7: Second Chances**

"Do I look all right Bones?" I looked at Bones seriously; I did't want to look a mess when the Admirals came aboard. All the senior crew and all those getting promoted had been invited to the Admirals welcoming party and about fifty other members of the crew were there too, just to show off.

Every one of them was in their dress uniform and they were lined up neatly in the main hanger, looking like a well organised army, rather than a Starfleet crew. They were stood in colour co-ordinated groups.

The only people on the ship that weren't in their dress uniforms were the thirty or so engineers that Scotty called the "deep engineers", who work far in the bowels of the ship. They were all wearing their usual white and red overalls.

"Jack you look fine and, for the love of Christ, will you stop fidgeting!" Bones growled at me.

"Sorry Bones, I can't help it, I'm nervous." I whispered back.

"Well, don't be. They're here now so stop stressing."

There was a whistle, telling us to stand to attention, which amazingly everyone did. The doors to the shuttle opened with a rather pompous _swish _and a metallic _thud _when it hit the floor of the shuttle bay. The Admirals stepped off together, Pike and Jon both look well enough. Pike looked a little tired under the eyes but Jon looked good. They walked down the gang plank and saluted the Captain and Commander Spock.

A growl and a bark came from somewhere on the shuttle and two very similar looking beagles, ran down the ramp, fighting and barking at each other, only to stop simultaneously and sniff the air. They'd caught a familiar scent and suddenly they were running at me, barking like crazy. I caught Jon's eye just before they jumped at me and he nodded so that everyone could see, which meant everyone could relax as well.

I smiled carefully, making sure it wasn't too obvious and I bent down to catch both of the dogs. They didn't look very old, because their ageing process had been slowed. It caused no harm to them and allowed their owners to keep them for longer. They jumped up, licking my face only for Jon to call them back, so that I can stand up.

"Porthos! Artie!"

D'Artagnan went straight away but Porthos paused a little and stared at Scotty intently, causing him to shift under the dogs gaze. It served him right for loosing him in the first place I guess. Jon then introduced Stef's dad (one of the senior instructors and Leader of the engineering division), the newly promoted, Commodore Reed, T'Pol and Doctor Phlox too. They're all people I'd known for a long time and three of the few people who knew mine and Jon's situation. There were a few other members of Starfleet's top brass in tow. Sulu told me that Pike said the maiden voyage of the newest flag ship, "deserved more pomp and circumstance" than they could afford when they jetted off to help Vulcan. Well, it was certainly getting its much deserved "pomp and circumstance".

The Admirals and entourage were to the officers. Bones was first in at the deep end, being grouchy, even with the Admirals. Not saying much and typically being Bones.

I was a little bit nervous, to say the least. I knew quite a few of these people, because of Jon, or because I'd been into trouble a lot.

"This is Lieutenant Commander Karev, although, I'm sure most of you know her." I'd have scowled at the Captain if Jon hadn't been stood _just _there. I nodded to Pike and Jon, and smiled carefully at T'Pol, Malcolm, Phlox and Alex Tyler, Stef's dad. They mostly smiled back and Pike offers a hand, "Good to see you again Commander, it's a nice to change from seeing you in trouble."

I did scowl as I took his hand, I couldn't help it, "It's good to see you too sir."

Jon offered a hand too, which I took, "Well Commander Karev, you seem to still have a good repertoire with my dogs."

I grinned at Jon and replied, "Well, I was around them often sir."

"Too often, as I recall."

I felt very sheepish under that look and started to look to the floor, luckily they moved along and I got a nod from Commodore Reed, Phlox and T'Pol, as they move along to Scotty, who gets growled at by Artie and Porthos.

I looked at Bones who raises an eyebrow and I shrugged. At least that part's over.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

There was a pretty good party going on in Rec room 1. Basically most of those who were in the hanger to greet the Admirals were there. I was sat in a corner with Bones and Stef, drink in hand, wondering how I was going to tell Jon what I wanted to tell him, without it sounding like a B movie reunion.

Bones however was sat calculating how many hangover cures he' and I were going to have to give out tomorrow and Stef, well I think Stef was scouting for her dad… or guys. Either way she was searching the crowd.

I had my eyes fixed on Jon. He was stood with the Captain, Spock, Admiral Pike and T'Pol. He looked the same as he ever did, except his hair was totally grey, rather than the brown it was when I was a kid. I sighed and Stef and Bones looked at me.

"Something the matter Kiddo?" Bones asked furrowing his brow.

"Not really, it's just weird, usually when I see him, I'm in trouble or, I'm complaining or we're not even at Starfleet. It's very strange not being able to talk to him like I usually do."

"Who? Your step-dad?" Stef was obviously a little drunk and a little distracted.

"Well, who else was she going to be talking about?" Stef turned and glared at Bones but didn't retort.

"Yeah, Jon." I sighed again. I was still stuck on how the hell I was going to say what I wanted to.

"What's troubling you kid?" I looked at Bones and Stef and shrugged,

"I need to talk to him, I just don't know how to."

Bones laughed, "That's easy, you walk up to him and the little group he's acquired and ask to speak to him."

"That'd draw attention though," Stef said simply, knowing exactly what I was going to say.

"Oh yeah, so who exactly knows?"

"Who knows what McCoy?"

I froze as I turned around to see Pike and the group stood behind me. I looked at Bones and mouthed, '_How the HELL did you NOT notice them_?'

"Erm…" Bones couldn't think fast on his feet right then, and fuck, neither can I.

"It would appear we have entered upon a conversation where we are not welcome." commented Spock, saving all of us.

"You're not unwelcome sirs; it's just not a conversation you'd have with your superiors." I managed to say as I picked up Porthos off the floor to scratch behind his ears.

There was a few seats around and they got pulled up, "So, what conversation would you have with your superiors?" Jon asked raising an eyebrow in a very Vulcan manner.

"Why is it that all captains who have Vulcan first officers do that?" Stef asked nodding towards the raised eyebrow. (Yeah, she's drunk.)

There was a pause which was broken by a beep from both mine and Bones' comm.s

"Or why it's always just as everything get interesting that my comm. goes off," I asked rhetorically as I pulled it out of the pocket in my jeans.

"Karev?" I snapped.

"Doctor Karev, there's been an accident in engineering, we need you and Doctor McCoy right away." said the calm voice of Nurse Chapel.

I looked at Bones who rolled his eyes and got up almost walking into Scotty, who started to say "there's-"

"Yeah I know, lets go." Stef took Scotty's hand to pull herself up and left with him and few of the other engineers in a flurry of red. Bones and I nodded to those who'd just sat down with us and quickly headed to Sickbay at a run.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"There are some serious chemical burns, several broken bones three of which are compound fractures and the guy who started it all is still out cold."

"Thank you Marx," Bones took the P.A.D.D. from her hands and said, "I'll take the compound fractures, from the looks of that one over there, I'll need to operate anyway. As for the guy out cold I'll look him over first, make sure there isn't any serious damage and that everything's alright."

"I'll take the four with chemical burns, two of them have got broken Bones and once I've finished, I'll check on him again." I replied.

That was it, a minute of talking and we got to work. I worked on the third degree burns first, they needed to be cleaned and checked to make sure they didn't get infected. I sighed as I worked on a sedated Ensign; Sickbay was going to be full…

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Keep an eye on the young Ensign I want to make sure that his burns don't get infected. Also check on the Lieutenant who started it all, if he's awake I want to talk to him." I said, handing the young nurse next to me a P.A.D.D.

"Yes Doctor, and… you did amazingly today I don't know how you, Dr McCoy and the other nurses managed." She said admiration clear in her voice.

I smiled at her kindly, "It's just practice, eventually you'll learn to just work under pressure. You did really well for someone who's just come out of the academy and never worked a full trauma before. You'll get there. Right now, you did a good job, just work quicker."

"Thank you Doctor, I'll go check on the Lieutenant." She left and I walked over to Chapel at the nurse's station. I leaned on the edge of it and met here eyes,

"She's got a good footing, but why is she here and not on a less…active ship?" I asked.

"Her father's someone high up in Starfleet medical, the head of neurology Dr. Richard Fry. From the whispers going around that's how she got here." Chapel answered leaning in slightly so we were not overheard.

"Ah, that explains some of it, but I'll give it to her, she's a good nurse, she just needed to be a little more seasoned, I guess." I replied.

"She'll learn as she goes along, although I would suggest we-"

I cut her off, "Remove her from Alpha shift, try and introduce her to the action slowly?"

"Yes, that's what I was going to say," she said, looking a little astonished.

I shook my head and explained, "She's not going to learn like that, move one of the beta shift nurses onto alpha and that way we have an extra person on hand if we need them. "

"Yes _Commander_, I'll deal with it as soon as possible." I scowled as Chapel grinned at me. I knew she was just joking but I was too lazy to try and smile.

There was a small sound from behind us as Nurse Fry cleared her throat, I turned to look at her, "Doctor, the Lieutenant is awake."

I nodded and took the chart P.A.D.D from her hand, "Go and wake up Dr McCoy… carefully."

Chapel grinned at me and I shrugged, "She's got to learn."

She giggled and I chuckled quietly.

"Comm. Scotty if he's free he might want to come and talk to him when me and Bones have finished." She nodded and I went to talk to Lieutenant…Fisher.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Hello Lieutenant, I'm Dr Karev. How do you feel?" I asked the dark haired Lieutenant.

"I'm all right, my head hurts a little and it's a bit of a shock to wake up with a broken wrist." He replied quietly.

"Mmmh, I suppose it is. Speaking of waking up, if you were tired on your shift why didn't you swap with someone, or if it's been a continuous thing, why didn't you come to Sickbay?" I questioned while checking his pupil response.

"Kiddo?" I turned around and looked at Bones, "Scotty's here,"

"Okay Bones send him in, also his pupil reposes are a little slow and his grip isn't great, think it could just be from the concussion?"

"Probably, but I want to hear what sleeping beauty has to say first."

"Aye, so would I." Scotty took one of the chairs around the bed and I stood next to his bed on the other side, while Bones leaned against the door.

"I didn't fall asleep, I couldn't have fallen asleep, I made sure as hell I wasn't going to fall asleep-…Caffeine, I drank maybe five or six black coffees and I never drink coffee. Ever. I had some pro-plus pills too, I know we're not supposed to, but my son's sick back on Earth and I was up all night talking to my wife,"

I looked at Bones, who furrowed his eyebrows.

"Fisher, you know that you're not allowed to work if your tired, so why did ya?" Scotty asked.

"Because when I got to work I didn't feel tired, everything was going all right and then the next thing I remember was a lot of noise, shouting and then I woke up here,"

"But-"

Bones cut across him, "Scotty, wait. He can't have fallen asleep with that much caffeine in him, it's not possible, there's something else wrong here,"

I looked back to Bones waiting for him to explain his idea, "Could be a brain lesion, have one of the nurses do an MRI."

With that he left and goes back to his office, I walked outside with Scotty, "He's right about the caffeine, and if Bones' thinks it's neurological you should trust him, it's his main specialty. Think of it this way, at least you know he didn't fall asleep."

"Aye, I guess it's somethin' let me know all righ'? I've got a get back to engineerin' and check on them."

"I'll let you know when I can," I said quietly and then he walked quickly out of Sickbay.

I turned around and asked, "Amanda? When did shift change?"

Nurse Croft looked at me carefully, "About five minutes ago."

I nodded, "Could you get a scan of Lieutenant Fisher's brain for me, we want to check for a brain lesion. Use one of the full MRI's their picture quality's better than the portable"

"Yes, Doctor." She said, moving to collect the equipment.

I went to sit at the nurses station, looking over the patients reports, one of my patients break was far worse than was expected and he'd started to show the symptoms of crush syndrome. It's a build up of potassium in the blood, though t the moment we're treating him with sodium bicarbonate but if he got any worse we would have had to treat him with glucose and insulin, which is risky in itself.

I was about to relax and let the nurses attend to the rest of the patients, most of whom were undergoing skin regeneration or bone regeneration, but there was a shout from Nurse Croft, "DOCTOR!"

"What?" I rushed to the bed,

"What…" I stopped and bit my lip, "Go get Doctor McCoy immediately."

Fisher's bleeding from his eyes and nose…

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Twenty minutes later, we'd managed to get a look at the MRI pictures. There wasn't a brain lesion, not even a tumour. In typical style, it wasn't going to be easy.

Bones looked over the MRI pictures carefully; neurology wasn't a major speciality for me, so I made him check them. I was sat with Nurse Croft, waiting for him to say something, "There's nothing. Not even one little tumour or lesion."

Amanda shrugged, "It could just be conjunctive coagulopathy from the trauma."

I shook my head, "It can't be, he was sick before the accident, you can't take in that much caffeine and fall asleep."

"Maybe he didn't fall asleep maybe it was a caffeine overdose?" she suggested carefully, still watching Bones.

He sat down in his chair and shook his head, "A caffeine overdose wouldn't cause the bleeding and he shouldn't have needed that much caffeine in the first place. Scotty has those guys working simple shifts, no overtime no doubles, to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen. There was a problem before the accident."

I furrowed my brow, thinking.

"What about a brain infection Bones? The infection causes the neurological symptoms and DIC causes the bleeding?" I suggested trying to be helpful.

"He's not got a fever though," Bones replied, "Nurse Croft do an X-ray Venogram and check for venous sinus thrombosis."

"Yes Doctor," she left quickly to get on with her work.

"Bones wouldn't that have shown on the MRI though?" I asked thinking about it carefully.

He shook his head, "Not enough to make a clear diagnosis."

I nodded and stated, "You're the neuro-guy."

He laughed, "You have the better job though."

I smiled, "Yep, I had happiness and joy."

I grinned as I left to check on the other patients in Sickbay. The ones under re-gen need to be seen and checked over every few hours to make sure everything is working properly and I went to check on the young Ensign Collinson-Laurence who had presented crush syndrome. He was getting better; his potassium levels had come down but I ordered a final course of sodium bicarbonate to be sure.

However, there was still Fisher to worry about and one of the Ensigns that Bones treated isn't looking too good. At the moment there's not much to worry about, but the wound means that regeneration is not a good option so we've had to remove it and leave his body to its own devices.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

As I was checking the last of our patients, the Admirals, the Captain and Commander Spock walked in, rather noisily.

"Sirs, if you can't shut up, I'm going to ask you to _get out_." I snapped in a low voice. They turned and looked at me, most of them in shock,

"I have patients who are trying to sleep," I explained quickly, my voice still dangerously low.

"We came to find out how the injured engineers were," the Captain said, glaring at me.

"None of them are critical and all of them are stable, some of them will be here for a few days. Most have got chemical burns or broken bones, although some of them have both. One has a concussion and a broken wrist."

"Where's Bones?" he asked, changing the subject,

"In his office resting, he's had to do two operations today, back-to-back and he's tired."

"After two operations?" Admiral Pike asked looking surprised.

I surveyed Pike carefully, "He's not physically tired, sir, more mentally, resetting bones and then having to pin them is a mentally exhausting task. He's not sleeping anyway,"

"It's impossible to sleep with the amount of noise Jim makes." I smirked as Bones emerged from his office behind me.

"Thanks Bones," the Captain scowled a little and it deepens when Bones ruffled his hair and said, "Don't be such an infant."

I suppressed a chuckle and went back to work, while Bones got left the much more tedious task of explaining to the senior staff exactly what we're dealing with.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

About thirty-five minutes after they arrived, Spock and Admiral Pike left. However, the Captain and Jon stayed in Sickbay. They're sat in the office with us. No one batted an eye lid when Bones poured four glasses of bourbon from one of the bottles in his desk. I was sat on the floor, leaning _against_ the couch, Bones is sat at his desk and the Captain and Jon are sitting behind me, _on_ the couch.

"How much trouble _did _you get into at the academy Karev?" I looked up at the Captain carefully, it's evident he's wanted to know the answer to this question for sometime.

"Enough, I guess. I could just toe the line between too much and enough to piss everyone off and not get kicked out." I replied nonchalantly.

"You weren't trouble as such," Jon interrupted quietly, "you just had enough attitude for the whole of the academy. You'd wander off for days at a time, especially during your last year. And the way you always used to argue with Malcolm, god you used to wind him up. What did you once call him?" he questioned with a laugh,

"As I recall, I called him lots of things. But on numerous occasions I called him a tool." I replied, suppressing the urge to chuckle.

Bones laughed suddenly, "I wanted to do that for years."

I shrugged, "Guess I beat you to it."

"Why though? Commander Reed was one of the best weapons and self defence instructors at the academy." The Captain looked confused.

I shrugged again and Jon and the Captain stay silent. I met Bones' eyes trying to get him to take the Captain somewhere else so I could talk to Jon. It took him a few second but he finally took the hint, "Jim I have rounds to do and I need to check on Fisher's Venogram. Fancy a walk to work off the alcohol?"

"Better than sitting here, Bones." He replied, simply. I chose to take that as the insult it was and scowled. As he stood up and put his empty glass on Bones' desk. I picked myself up off the floor and went to sit behind Bones' desk facing Jon.

"It was fortuitous that they left, it's Bones' fault, he knows I wanted to talk to you. Sorry, I'm rambling." I blurted out quickly.

He laughed, "It's all right, your mother used to that when she was nervous too. What did you want to talk to me about?"

This was not going to be easy, not because I didn't know what to say, because I had no idea where to start, I sighed, "I guess I should start at the beginning. I guess you've noticed I've never really been nice to you. I never tried to be, never wanted to be."

"It was pretty hard to miss," he said smiling slightly, expecting me to go on,

"I had my reasons for it, I was a kid and I needed someone to blame. I blamed you for my parents getting divorced; I blamed you for losing my dad: I blamed you for losing Nathan. You were the easy target for all the hate that really shouldn't have been directed at you." I paused, letting it sink in a little, before going on,

"I was thinking about things yesterday and I remembered something someone once said to me, I can't remember who. They said that to move forward we have to let go of what had happened in the past, and as I was thinking about it, I thought about everything that'd happened and I realised, rather late in the day, that it wasn't your fault. You were there when my mum needed someone to love because she didn't love my dad anymore, and he didn't love her. The only reason they stayed together as long as they did, was for me and Nathan. It was perhaps the worst decision they ever made. If they'd split up when they realised they didn't love each other anymore then all the shouting and throwing things and everything I had to hear sat up in my room, wouldn't have happened. It's taken me nearly twenty years, but I know, for certain now that for all these years I've been blaming the wrong person, because I shouldn't have been blaming anyone at all…"

I paused again, I had to be careful how I said this, "Jon I don't have anyone, I don't know where my dad is, I don't know where Nathan is. My mum's dead and all I have left is you. Jon, I'm asking…I'm asking if you'll give me a second chance and maybe we could attempt a step-father-step-daughter relationship…thingy."

He smiled at me gently, "It's taken you twenty years to say that…"

I shrugged and nodded, "Yeah I guess,"

He got up and walked over to me, pulling me up and into a hug, "Twenty years for you, all of five seconds twenty years ago for me."

I mumbled into his chest, "You're a dick-shit."

He laughed, "I know, Mal tells me that all the time."

I chuckled, I could hear Commodore Reed's British accent saying that, in my head. It was worth the stern look I got from Jon. Totally worth it.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"MERDA! Non può essere vero!"

"Lieutenant, is summat wrong?" I looked up to see Scotty's staring at me,

"The whole power unit is out down here, it's a mess, the wires have melted and some of the panel has obviously caught fire at some point. It's fucked."

"Shit."

"That's what I said," I replied looking back at the panel and going over the power relays with a tricorder.

"When you were speaking Italian?" I looked up at Scotty, frowning a little.

"I was speaking Italian?"

"Si Stefania," My father was stood behind Scotty looking at me sternly.

"Scusa papa!" I looked down at my work and hoped he left…soon.

Shit!

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I'd finished talking to Jon, who left with the Captain as soon as we'd finished. I was pouring over Chekov's notes to see how we're progressing when Bones shouts through to the office, "Kiddo, get out here."

There was something in his voice that made me move faster than normal. It wasn't panic, we're doctors we don't panic, it was just…something. When I reached the bed I meet Bones' eyes and he frowned.

"His Venogram showed no filling defects, but now he's spiked a fever of 102"

"Bones you want to do a differential now?" I asked, looking over the sleeping form of Fisher.

"Got a better idea kid?" he snapped back quickly.

I rolled my eyes, he was in a funny mood so I didn't argue, Nurses Croft and a young nurse I went through the academy with, Alison Campbell were stood with us. Campbell suggested, "It could be meningitis"

However, Croft cut across that idea and said "he didn't say his neck was sore."

My head started to hurt and I was getting irritated with the whole situation so I snapped, "That's because everything's sore, he fell all of twenty feet. Subarachnoid bleed?"

"Unlikely," Bones answered his brow still furrowed. He was in his thinking pose, one arm folded around his front, the other picking at his bottom lip ruthlessly.

"Bones we've got to start considering infections then," I said carefully, watching him thinking.

"Do an L.P," Bones replied, before walking out of Sickbay, without another word. I looked across at Nurses Croft and Campbell, getting a shrug in reply to my questioning glance.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

My comm. beeped from my bedside table. I groaned as I rolled over, grabbing it, and snarled at the poor unsuspecting person, "What?"

"Bones he's fallen into a coma." Jack's anxious voice said,

"What are his vitals?" I asked, slowly sitting up in bed.

I the distance I heard her say, "Excuse me Lieutenant-"

There was a short pause and then she replied, "His BP is 90/150 and his heart rate is 80."

"Who else is there?" I questioned her; curious about whom she was speaking to.

"So lower mammals from security, they wanted to question him about the accident." She answered.

"When did they get there?" I asked,

"About ten to fifteen minutes ago, Bones why does it matter?" she snapped getting annoyed.

"It matters because I want to know that's why. Is nurse Croft there?"

There was some muffled sounds as the comm. was passed from Jack to Croft. "Yes sir?"

"When you gave him the MRI, how was he?" I mentally crossed my fingers as I asked this.

"Fine apart from a little claustrophobic sir," she replied.

I couldn't help but smile a little, "Pass me back to Doctor Karev."

There was more noise before Jack's voice asked, "Bones?"

"Jack, he's got a cyst on his lower spine. Do a C.T to confirm and I'll be up as soon as I can." I said, getting out of bed as I did so.

"Bones, how the hell did you work that out?" she quizzed,

I shrugged even though she can't see me, "I just did."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Cyst on his lower spine, between V11 and 12, now, how the hell did you get from claustrophobia to that?" Jack questioned, handing me the P.A.D.D with the C.T images on it.

"Stress, spikes his spinal fluid pressure and causes his symptoms. Just before his bleeding started he was claustrophobic, just before his fever started one of the nurses told him that if we couldn't find something wrong with him, he'd fallen asleep and the clincher, security turned up minutes before he collapsed into a coma." I replied, looking over the images.

"Bones, you're a bit of a genius, you know that?" she commented, watching me with a little bit of awe.

I laughed and answered, "True, but I'm crappy with kids that aren't my own."

She laughed and said, "That is why you have me, Mr Neuro-genius."

I scowled, causing her to laugh.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Everything was a mess; there were blown units all over engineering deck. Luckily none of them are used to deal with the warp core. There were broken power relays, some of the supports had collapsed from the initial explosion, and there were broken pipes and water all over the floor. Plus it was my mess to clean up. These people broke the ship and now me and these poor others had to clean it up, even though most of them had nothing to do with it. All this shit is because of one person. One person and the whole thing collapsed on itself. My comm. beeped in my pocket,

"Scott here," I answered it quickly.

"Scotty it's Jack, you should probably get up here." She said in a neutral tone, so I can't tell if it's good news or bad.

"Can ye gimme five minutes, av got some work to do first."

"Sure, no problem."

I closed my comm. and finished up the repairs on the cooling system.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Scotty?" I walked into Sickbay to find Dr McCoy waiting for me.

"Yeah?" I asked carefully, wondering whether what he has to tell me is good or bad.

"Jack wanted to be here when I told you, but I told her to go to bed. We've found out what Lieutenant Fisher's problem is. He's said we can tell you so: he has a cyst on his spinal column which is increasing his spinal fluid pressure and causing his symptoms, particularly when he's under stress." McCoy said, as if he expected me to understand a word of it.

"So he didn't fall asleep?" I asked, just trying to clarify.

"No he collapsed." Dr McCoy replied with a hint of a smile.

"Can I see him?" I questioned, feeling guilty about what I'd said to him.

"Certainly, he's just had surgery to remove the cyst which was a success. He'll start coming 'round in about five minutes. He'll be a little groggy at first but eventually he'll understand you." He answered with a grin.


End file.
